Ask HN: Former gifted children with hard lives, how did you turn out?

Totally agreed on the methodology concerns, looks like its trying to err on under reporting. ex all the questions specifying "an adult", which presumes there were adults to take care of you in the first place.

I would say to hell with useful, being useful is for tools, focus on happy/excited and that will eventually lead to the right place.

Feeling that you have a role to play, a unique contribution to society that is appreciated, is not really the same thing as useful. But it's where you want to aim. And that includes figuring out what you are supposed to do, which is where joy/excitement plays an important role as a guide.

Letting other people's expectations define your life will never work, enough people have tried and failed by now.

This. I was in the car with my mom and I wouldn't shut up. She told me to and if I didn't, she'd make me walk home. Open my mouth I did!

I walked maybe 2 miles home. Stopped in every store/business where I knew someone. I stopped in the stationary store, the little 5 and dime, a doctor's office. Said hello and chatted a bit. I had to have been 7 or 8. Some folks asked where my mom was and I told them what happened. I have no recollection of what they said. All I know is that I walked on home. Thank goodness there were sidewalks and that I knew where I was going.

What had a much greater negative effect was the walkathon. I was a fat kid and somehow decided I was going to walk 20 miles to raise money for some charity. No one, most of all my father, thought I would walk more than a couple of miles. So neighbors, friends, colleagues of 'rents pledged $20/mile.

Day of, my friend and I were told to go to friend's mom's office when we finished and she'd drive us home. Off we went! Thank goodness we had some idea where we were. It took us all. day. long. We went to a wedding, watched some cute guys play basketball, admired gardens, and talked and talked. We were at the tail end and had no idea if anyone was in front of us or what time it was. Got to the center of town and the organizers had packed up. We had to walk probably 1/2 mile to friend's mom's office. . . and I finally showed up at home and it was like I'd never gone! Sometimes the walkaton pops into my head and I wonder how the hell my parents were not worried about me. More now that my mother has moved in with us and we talk more. I actually asked her about it the other day and she remembers nothing about the walk other than I walked all 20 miles.

End of the world? Absolutely not. But it sure taught me about what my parents thought I could do.

That might be part of the trouble. I have a similar drive to always be productive. I'm not sure how to describe it other than I get depressed when I have nothing to accomplish. Maybe making generative art in itself is good enough but if you need a goal, maybe turn it into some kind of charity exercise.

Maybe go back to your appalachian roots and chop some wood or whittle some sticks. I've found it therapeutic.

4 here. Been struggling with depression since 15, but got it under control since ~25 thanks to antidepressants, a healthier environment and a loving spouse whom I talk to a lot. I started drinking at 15 and had varying degrees of alcohol problems until my 20s. Never finished college - ended up with a lot of student debt and no degree. I come from a small city in Ecuador, a country which has gone through a lot of shit since I can remember: terrible education levels, insecurity, violence, political instability, etc. Parents got divorced during Ecuador's 2000 financial implosion. Dad went bankrupt, sank into deep depression and never fully recovered.

Luckily for me I'm good at one thing: coding. Eventually got out of town and found a job as a software consultant in Quito. Now I live in Stockholm Sweden. Got visa sponsored by a tech company at the pinnacle of the 2019-2020 tech hiring craze. Here I can say I'm slightly above average in terms of financial and career success, but I have it much, much better than my peers back home.

I'm kind of a loner (Sweden doesn't help tbh), I have low tolerance for stuff that triggers me and I tend to go back to bridge-burning mode from time to time, but my wife helps me stay on track and I have developed better coping mechanisms year after year :). My life is honestly wonderful and better than I could have ever hoped for. My home country is as violent as ever and I'm always worried that something's gonna happen to my family back there, but that's pretty much the only worry I have in my life now.

This exercise was great!