31–40 of 76 posts
I grew up as a Mormon and became disillusioned with that as I got older and got exposed to Eastern religions. Over time, I also became disillusioned with Eastern religions because they are ultimately nihilistic. I found Eastern Orthodoxy, which is the perfect marriage between Christianity and mysticism. My whole life has been healed as a result of becoming (and continuing to struggle to be) an Orthodox Christian. My…
Still going through it but it seems manageable now. Exercise and meditation didn't work. Exercise almost daily anyways. Here is my story: 1. Realizing that I m going through midlife crisis and it is a normal thing. 2. Giving into some minor temptations like smoking or drinking too much. Could have spiraled down but had some strict rules like doing it only socially and taking Uber. 3. Changing job, buying a new car, e…
1. Yes I think I have realized that and acknowledged whatever I do it's going to live with me for a large portion of my life.
2. I think I might indulge myself with some hobbies and spending. Fortunately my wife is generally fine with my hobby spending.
3. I changed job and got a raise this year, not sure if it helped though.
4. You nailed it! I'm doing a lot of things, but I still feel lost. What do I want? I seem to be able to name at least 10 items that I want, but do I really? I guess at least one or two of those items still hold true under such inquiry though.
5. Could be true, time will tell. Maybe life from now on lives on uncertainty and we just have to get used to it.
6. True for me too, although I struggled occasionally.
7. Interesting. I also considered betting on OOM options because somehow every years there are a few chances that some of them get a huge win. Not going to say it's easy, but the point is to give myself a bit of excitement and hope.
8. Waiting too.
Went through this process exactly the same "mid-life crisis" couple of years ago. The books; The Flow-> Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Psycho-Cybernetics -> Maxwell Maltz both helped me pull through it. In my own specific case, it was a combination of lackluster jobs and our own autistic son's growth issues. I fixed my lackluster jobs by challenging myself by setting a goal. A goal to break into FAANG. I know its not the ki…
Thanks for the help. I see that you managed to pull yourself from the "swamp" (the crisis feels like being trapped in a swamp). I have read the first one but haven't for the second. I'll purchase, read and see what happens.
Failed my family in midlife, lost them all, lost everything. Here are my thoughts. Find gratitude. Find humility. Give up ego. Shut down that voice that says 'but I deserve....'. You live better than almost all of humanity ever has. The King of France had a guy with a bucket follow him around and he would crap into it in public. You live better than the King of France. Find a way to make that enough, more than enough…
"at some point, you will pick up your child for the last time, then set them down and not in the moment realize that you will never pick them up again" I pick up my kids all the time because of this. My wife thinks I'm spoiling them, but there's a very limited period of picking them up. Even the span of time where they're interested in you is limited. They have a fascination with their parents in the first few months…
I grew up as a Mormon and became disillusioned with that as I got older and got exposed to Eastern religions. Over time, I also became disillusioned with Eastern religions because they are ultimately nihilistic. I found Eastern Orthodoxy, which is the perfect marriage between Christianity and mysticism. My whole life has been healed as a result of becoming (and continuing to struggle to be) an Orthodox Christian. My…
Failed my family in midlife, lost them all, lost everything. Here are my thoughts. Find gratitude. Find humility. Give up ego. Shut down that voice that says 'but I deserve....'. You live better than almost all of humanity ever has. The King of France had a guy with a bucket follow him around and he would crap into it in public. You live better than the King of France. Find a way to make that enough, more than enough…
"at some point, you will pick up your child for the last time, then set them down and not in the moment realize that you will never pick them up again" I pick up my kids all the time because of this. My wife thinks I'm spoiling them, but there's a very limited period of picking them up. Even the span of time where they're interested in you is limited. They have a fascination with their parents in the first few months…
The gift of unconditional love .
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Thanks for sharing your experience . I'm not a religious person (although I do enjoy reading Apocalypses) but I hope the peace you found retain forever.
I wasn't either, but it's the answer to staring meaninglessness in the face in your mid-life.
I plan to read it in a few years when I have my own mid-life crisis.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wasn't either, but it's the answer to staring meaninglessness in the face in your mid-life.
what's so bad about meaninglessness?
"I can do what I want and make it mean whatever I want" is a very selfish delusion that completely ignores that your actions affect those around you (who are also assigning meaning to your actions and words) and that those around you affect you as well.
Another danger to this is the delusion that you always know what is best for you. Many times in my life, I have gotten advice from someone who was watching me and who told me I was being reckless or foolish, and that I should think about what I was doing carefully and choose another path. I could have easily dismissed them (and often did), but sometimes those outside of our head can see what we are doing or where we are heading more clearly than we can with all of our justifications.
In short, meaninglessness means that at any time you and anyone around you can decide that marriage doesn't mean commitment anymore. You can decide that your spouse cheating on you is a good thing. You can look forward to feeling betrayed. And hopefully your children will just be able to change their minds about how their parents feel about each other. And hopefully they don't change their minds about how they feel about you. It's all fine because you can just make it mean whatever you want!