Ask HN: How do you meet new people? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#31

Post by acct1771 » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 10:34 AM UTC

pavel_lishin wrote: post #6

WhitneyLand wrote: post #5

It’s strange there’s no service to aid in this process, or maybe there is and I haven’t seen it? Meetup has become to much work to sort our sellers. Tinder for plain ol’ friends you are not trying to date or sell something to, but might have things in common with? The one thing that messes it up for me is a few people I have known a long time who turned out to be lifelong best friends yet I have almost nothing in com…

> a few people I have known a long time who turned out to be lifelong best friends I help moderate a local subreddit dedicated to local meetups, and I see this a lot - people are looking for best friends , and I think this is a mistake for two reasons: 1. You don't need all the people you regularly socialize with to be best friends. It's okay to have people you see often with whom you're not super-intimately connecte…

> Seeking deep relations exclusively is a mistake

Could you elaborate on this, please?

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#32

Post by sAbakumoff » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 10:59 AM UTC

acct1771 wrote: post #30

sAbakumoff wrote: post #26

Why do you need to meet new people in the first place? They are not better than existing creatures around you.

How in the world can you judge what vile creatures surround me?

Hell is other people

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#33

Post by danieka » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 11:14 AM UTC

theshadowknows wrote: post #27

I’d like to be better at this. My wife and I are moving from North Carolina to Sweden soon and we’re both very introverted.

Hi, one of my friends actually lived in North Carolina before he emigrated to Sweden.

If you're moving to Stockholm you should get in touch, my email is in my profile :)

Either way I really hope you'll enjoy Sweden and find good friends here.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#34

Post by baybal2 » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 11:27 AM UTC

There is app called Tinder. Another one is Meetup.com

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#35

Post by petecox » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 11:28 AM UTC

acct1771 wrote: post #29

theshadowknows wrote: post #27

I’d like to be better at this. My wife and I are moving from North Carolina to Sweden soon and we’re both very introverted.

Do you speak Swedish?

Education is actually a good way.

Get 20 people in a room doing a 10 week Wednesday night Swedish class and discover over a beer afterwards that one or more of your classmates has a common interest.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#36

Post by XalvinX » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 12:03 PM UTC

Since I came to Korea, I've advertised for language exchange partner on the bulletin board in the local university, and it has provided a stream of sort-of friends, and a couple of pretty good ones.

I think you need to do activities that require closeness for longish periods of time and some level of intimacy. Language exchange fits this bill very well.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#37

Post by jbms » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 12:25 PM UTC

mythrwy wrote: post #14

RightMillennial wrote: post #9

One of the classic locations: Church.

For the people suggesting bars and churches: Who do you find in gatherings where people have gotten together to escape reality in one form or the other? I'd rather meet people that have similar (and what I consider positive and realistic) goals and outlooks or not meet at all. I'm not bashing religion (or alcohol) either. I'm entirely ok with both in moderation but I won't be a regular at places either is the central…

It is bashing religion to imply the people who believe in it are primarily trying to escape reality. They believe they've discovered reality. And they'd like to be with other people who have also discovered reality.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#38

Post by tecklenburg » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 12:55 PM UTC

Being in a new city I tried various things. First I went to lots of meetups via meetup.com - but in most groups you seldom meet the same people twice. Much better was to join a club - like Toastmasters (https://www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club), or a local chess club. Made a couple of good friends that way.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#39

Post by ryanmercer » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 1:11 PM UTC

Ha, wish I knew. I've not made a new IRL friend since high school.

Re: Ask HN: How do you meet new people?

#40

Post by notheguyouthink » Mon, Jun 11, 2018, 1:17 PM UTC

peterburkimsher wrote: post #21

CouchSurfing (weekly meetup & hosting travellers). Church. Concerts. Visiting kids in the hospital. Language exchange. When you do meet people, offer to cook for them. "I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me." - to me, that doe…

More specifically (or less specifically lol), do anything with people and leave a positive impression.

Seeking friendship is hard, it's something forged with time - like any relationship. You have to be willing to put in the effort of being a positive impression on peoples lives, without the expectation of friendship out of it.