Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

news.ycombinator.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

291–300 of 767 posts

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#291

Post by davidjhall »

ogou wrote: post #117

Yes. I turned my life around at 43. Single, obsolete tech skills, lots of debt, personal issues. Began with taking a genuine inventory of my life and how I function, not just how I felt. I picked a constructive and structured approach to that, which looked a lot like CBT therapy but was something else. It was a life reset, clearing out all the baggage. It was very difficult but incremental and genuine over time. Afte…

What commercial classes did you take to level up? Were they Coursera, Udacity or university classes?

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#293

Post by rietta »

You don't say your religious background, but these life issues are exactly the sort many Churches (or the analogue) have resources to help with. One on ones with someone who is either a trained therapist or has some counseling skills as a pastor. Mens groups in similar life stages to meet for meals and talk or study scriptures together. It really is a support network.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#294

Post by mythrwy »

nickelcitymario wrote: post #231

I think there's two big aspects to this, based on your comments. The first is the real and relatable challenge of making a major life change in your 40s. I'm 38 and just made the decision to prioritize my health and happiness over my career, but I can only do that because my career reached a tipping point where the stress involved in each additional dollar earned was rapidly getting out of whack. So I asked my bosses…

There's actually nothing wrong with flipping burgers. In my opinion it's more useful then what a vast number of highly paid people do for work.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#295

Post by plutonorm »

Look inwards at your emotions, observe them. Find where they are located, in the body. Analyse them. Learn to recreate those feelings by thinking and moving the body in just the right way. Our emotions work like our hands or legs, they are physical, you can learn to see them analyse them and ultimately control them. You have a problem where reflexive muscular memories are being triggered at a level below your awareness, creating emotions you have no need for. Dig into them bring them into awareness and shut down the ones that are not useful to you. Work out what you want. Of you don't know what you want, make that your goal. Meditate on it, draw, write, speak all of it. You need that moment of fight that you get when you are threatened. Do not be ashamed of that response or imagine it to be inappropriate or useless. Embrace those feelings that get you where you want to go and cast aside those which do not serve you. It's not easy, but at the bottom of all of us is a place of total belief, of complete power. Use that self that will not give in, give it power.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#297

Post by soheil »

artursapek wrote: post #274
soheil wrote: post #261

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do not recommend remote therapy one bit.

Why?

Maybe for minor things it's good. But for depression and serious mental issues absolutely not.

For example you can't do analysis without being physically present with your doctor [1].

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychoanalysis

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#299

Post by hiram112 »

kaon123 wrote: post #145

There are magic bullets. But I feel a few months ago as if I stumbled upon one: My regular sports team (ultimate frisbee) disbanded after the pandemic, so I found myself without any physical exercise. I thought I probably should go to the gym but realised I wasn't going to do it after work, and neither before breakfast. Also, I am 34 and have never visited a gym before in my life. Then I found a gym across my office…

> They are group trainings that only last 25 mins.

For a good 20 years - from early teens through mid 30s - I began and eventually quit various workout and gym routines, memberships, etc because I couldn't find the time or because I would dread going so much I'd invent any excuse in my mind to avoid them.

My mistake was assuming I needed to go for an hour or more at a time, and also that I needed to do 20-30 minutes of cardio.

It wasn't until my mid 30s that I realized I wouldn't dread it so much if I limited my workouts to 20-30 minutes max, and that I didn't need cardio (which I despise) and instead could just do some compound free weights exercise - just 4 or 5 simple lifts. Maybe 2-3 sets of 5 every other day.

Since then, I enjoy going and have been consistent about it for years.

Re: Ask HN: Has anyone here turned around their life in their 40s?

#300

Post by [deleted] »

kemiller2002 wrote: post #4

You need to see a therapist. Your problem is largely on your outlook on where you are in life. This is not meant to be a buck up or shut up comment, it's just that you can't improve your life until you change your outlook on things. You won't be able to move forward on things until you confront your feelings and accept your position to move out of it. To answer your question, yes. My 30's were a mess with a divorce,…

[deleted]
Post reply on HN