My biggest regret is wasting so much time regretting things.
This is good advice. Learning lessons is not the same as wallowing and reliving the past.
Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
291–300 of 570 posts
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#292I had a great job. Great pay, stock grants that are still going up, good work/life balance, and co-workers who were friends, co-workers who wanted me on their teams. I'd spearheaded an initiative which ultimately failed but had earned me a good reputation.
I went on a medication with a side effect of anger. I was told that at the beginning, I was told that there were other drugs I could use instead. I dismissed the concern, I'd be fine.
I got cocky. I got complacent. I convinced myself that the company needed me and would never dare replace me. I started to get a really bad attitude - openly sneered at projects that I didn't think could succeeded. I was probably right but I didn't help anyone by my griping.
I lost the job. Technically I was 'laid off' but it was that or simply get fired. I lost friends with my unpleasant attitude. I made statements that made me cringe with embarrassment now.
I'm doing fine currently, and am on a new medication. I'm making less though that I would have at my old job, and if I'd stayed there I'd be a lot less worried about my future. They held on to experienced engineers and for some people it was their last job before retiring.
I could blame the medicine entirely, but the truth is I'm still an arrogant asshole and I still fall into the trap of believing I'm irreplaceable and can get away with whatever I want.
I wish I'd changed medications. I wish that I'd listen to people who tried to help, who told me that there were teams that didn't want to work with me. I'd be in a lot better place.
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#293Not regretting more things earlier. Regrets can be a terrific tool for growth. I posted about it while back.
https://www.friendlyskies.net/maybe/regrets-a-powerful-plann...
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#294I'm torn on this. My life is pretty great. Well paid, leaving a job I hate for a job I think I will love in the next few weeks, loving family. Things would be drastically different if not for the path I actually took, but still. I'm a developer, and a decent one - not FAANG level by any means, but decent. But, my degree is from a school nobody's ever heard of, in an unrelated humanities subject, with a horrendous, ba…
> I'm a developer, and a decent one - not FAANG level by any means, but decent This statement rubs me the wrong way. What does that mean being "FAANG level"? It's either a misconception of what is going on there or underestimating yourself... Or both
It certainly could be both! And I get what you mean, I always feel weird if I say something like that because it's not exactly what I mean but it's the best way I know to articulate it.
I'm sure every FAANG has dead weight, but I've always had the impression that in part due to the compensation the best of the industry tend to gravitate there. That certainly may have changed in the last decade when I think that idea got solidified in my mind.
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#295Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…
Regarding social skills, I feel like I can relate to how you describe your situation. I was extremely socially anxious when I was younger and basically avoided any social interactions I could. Throughout highschool and college I never had any friends to speak of or dated. I mostly shut myself away with video games and other solitary interests. I moved to a new city away from my family when I was 27 and that was when…
Just chiming in to say how proud I am of you, as I’m went and still going though something similar. Its scary and hard and you get burned a lot but I wouldn’t trade the friends I made and the relationships I’ve invested in since becoming more in touch and open, including my family, are my absolute proudest accomplishments
I am of the opinion that people who have gone though this are more empathetic caring people
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#296Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…
i feel like an alien too but without the drug part (maybe the internet). Not hooked on anything yet still unable to pursue meaningful relationships outside the preexisting few I have left. Lately I stopped expressing ideas to people, since most of them are just rejected or get swallowed up by the void. All i'm trying to say is that there *might* be something more to the social part.
You gotta keep trying. Also could be you’re in the midst of a social circle that isn’t empathetic or just doesn’t click. I had to move and explore until I found people I connected with
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#297Earlier quoted context omitted.
That creates a remarkable set of perverse incentives akin to what's seen in Australia, where restoring old houses properly is so expensive that they tend to be left to rot and/or mysteriously catch fire instead. Is the issue widely known?
A similar thing happens in the USA with houses declared "historic". It's well known among realtors and other groups, but not extensively known. Some states/localities have funds to somewhat help with maintenance, but they get depleted very fast, and you often have requirements like "cannot replace the switches with modern ones, must use push button switches" and similar things. https://www.houseofantiquehardware.com/…
This has been ironically known to happen on government property as well, where you might expect more desire to preserve historic property. Instead of fixing them, they may just be left to deteriorate until they can be razed and something more modern built on the site.
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#298When I was a kid, I sold most of my old computers and game systems to get new ones. I wish I hadn’t done that. That stuff would be awesome to have now.
I thought the same and bought a few older systems. Now they gather dust on a shelf, because I got bored of them after a few hours. But at least the feeling of need is gone, I guess?
These days I regret not throwing things away sooner. Most long term possessions are just clutter.
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#299Sounds insignificant compared to some of the things I'm reading here but I regret not participating in sports as much as I should have when I was in school.
Think it would have had a huge affect on my social skills, fitness and overall mental and physical health
Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?
#300I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…
I wish I didn't believe in regret but I feel it. I do my best to ignore it and face forward but I still often feel very strong regret for moments daily.
Since high school I wanted a spouse and kids (obviously I imagined a good relationship and good kids)
Now I'm in my late 50s and it's not going to happen. I was always hopeful today I'm going to meet someone. That hope has mostly disappeared.
I regret not trying harder in various ways.