I went to church.
Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
291–300 of 404 posts
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#292Perhaps the closest opposite to narcissism is humility. One way to really experience humility is to inject yourself into something truly foreign where money is an insufficient remedy. I don't know what that humbling experience will be for you. For me it was living in Afghanistan for 2 years, of which one of those years I traveled frequently and spoke with many people there. It doesn't matter how much money you make a…
Did that in Mali. It did give me perspective after 2 years, but it didn't fix my narcissism. Just made me more tolerant to incomfort, and made me enjoy civilization more.
I've also experienced physical hardship which helped me to become far more patient and tolerant of physical hardship, but not at all more patient or tolerant with people.
I think it's a mistake to treat 'humility' as if it was one thing.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#293Seeing a therapist might be infinitely better than reading a book, and not just for narcissism. We're all broken in our own wonderful and unique ways. I've been seeing a therapist for 5 years now, and the positive impact this has had in my life and on my general self-awareness can't be overstated. As engineers and tech people we have one tool that has proven incredible useful in our careers: our brilliant rational mi…
Honest question, really trying hard not to word it in a standoffish way: what do you get out of a therapist that can't be obtained from thought or general conversation outside of therapy? I don't think a "brilliant rational mind" is a prerequisite for coming to the conclusion that you're spending money to lock someone in conversation with you - someone that would not associate with you otherwise. To me, the relations…
Here is another helpful idea, hasn't been mentioned explicitly: a therapist has (or has had) many clients. For that reason alone, even if they had no more skill at coaching than your average friend, they have valuable insights.
You might think that you are very unique, but often that's not the case. Or, at least, your behavior can be decomposed into patterns, and a therapist can often forecast where that behavior leads (and, if they're skilled and/or lucky, where it's coming from).
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#294Perhaps the best route is acceptance. How can you route your narcissism to a public good?
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#295Perhaps the closest opposite to narcissism is humility. One way to really experience humility is to inject yourself into something truly foreign where money is an insufficient remedy. I don't know what that humbling experience will be for you. For me it was living in Afghanistan for 2 years, of which one of those years I traveled frequently and spoke with many people there. It doesn't matter how much money you make a…
Sorry but no. This will not fix narcissism. Narcissists are broken people incapable of self-reflection and everything centers around them. They see everything in the world as being put here for their enjoyment. They thrive off of attention (negative or positive) and it's the only time they feel alive.
Your definition is so simple. So clear. So absolute.
Nearly everyone is capable of self reflection. To think that an individual is categorically incapable of it is to deny them their humanity.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#296Earlier quoted context omitted.
Woahhh you lived in Afghanistan? That’s really cool! Is there anywhere I can read about your experience there / contact to talk more?
Its easier if I just write it here. From July 2009-2010 I deployed to a unit in Kuwait and forward deployed to Afghanistan as part of a 2 person information assurance review team. We traveled around the country and visited the major, and some minor, US Army bases to perform friendly audits to improve the information security posture of the installations on the ground. We were constantly traveling. I think I went on 2…
Thank you for sharing these stories of your travels. I enjoyed the rich details of your personal experience in that part of the world, things I would have never heard or read about otherwise.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#297Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm going to counter the "therapists are great" theme that I'm seeing here. I think they're a waste of money. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a great tool. With practise and courage you can use it to reform the way you think. It won't fix something like schizophrenia but it might be useful for a narcissist who wants to change.
> It won't fix something like schizophrenia Your comment is terribly unhelpful. Therapy isn't about "fixing" someone, but to help individuals with issues that negatively affect their life find opportunities to manage those issues. CBT is not something you can start doing by yourself without an external catalyst. I have ADHD, OCD, and bipolar II along with recurring bouts of PTSD from a terribly traumatic childhood. W…
> CBT is not something you can start doing by yourself without an external catalyst.
I disagree strongly with this part. The "Feeling Good" book by David D Burns, which is essentially a fantastic primer on CBT, single handedly helped me conquer my depression in college and helped me graduate with high scores, just when I was on the verge of dropping out. It was god send to me because I couldn't afford to go to a therapist. (And depression was just one of the psychological problems that I had, which later therapy helped me identify).
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#298Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#299Meditation + psychedelics? If you have a strong intention to change, it's pretty left field but I'd consider taking that intention to peru and drinking ayahuasca at a retreat. The effort poured into meditation will help you become aware of your behaviours and why they are there, which is the starting point - accepting that you have the problem rather than pushing it out onto people around you. I believe that's a grea…
I know some narcissists that are deeply into taking a variety of drugs. Drugs are definitely not helping them at all.
Yes! Anecdotally, I have known people with similar issues who were helped by mushrooms or mdma. They seem to experience some fundamental change in their perspective. However, that benefit came with one or maybe a few trips, not ongoing consumption.
Re: Ask HN: How did you fix your narcissism?
#300Perhaps the closest opposite to narcissism is humility. One way to really experience humility is to inject yourself into something truly foreign where money is an insufficient remedy. I don't know what that humbling experience will be for you. For me it was living in Afghanistan for 2 years, of which one of those years I traveled frequently and spoke with many people there. It doesn't matter how much money you make a…
Sorry but no. This will not fix narcissism. Narcissists are broken people incapable of self-reflection and everything centers around them. They see everything in the world as being put here for their enjoyment. They thrive off of attention (negative or positive) and it's the only time they feel alive.
you should read the op