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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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281–290 of 570 posts

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#281

I did my master degree in Tsinghua University, China. I was surrounded by really smart people. I regret leaving China to go back to Europe. I truly wished I was still living there.

Every mistake is an experience that makes you a unique person and helps you know who you are. I have friends who regretted leaving China and went back, only to find the grass is always greener on the other side.

Yes, it depends on the person’s ideals, it’s now obvious to me that I am more aligned with China then my home country.

I wish I could be there right now

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#282

Buying a thatched cottage in Ireland. It's very pretty, and it checks all the boxes (bike ride from train station), etc. but Ireland's insanely strict protection rules and ridiculous insurance payouts have resulted in every insurer of thatched buildings leaving the country. Additionally, when I applied for permission to build a separate house on the land (it's a few acres) the heritage officer insisted we only build…

That creates a remarkable set of perverse incentives akin to what's seen in Australia, where restoring old houses properly is so expensive that they tend to be left to rot and/or mysteriously catch fire instead. Is the issue widely known?

A similar thing happens in the USA with houses declared "historic". It's well known among realtors and other groups, but not extensively known. Some states/localities have funds to somewhat help with maintenance, but they get depleted very fast, and you often have requirements like "cannot replace the switches with modern ones, must use push button switches" and similar things.

https://www.houseofantiquehardware.com/shop-by-type/vintage-...

At $15 for a switch vs $1, those things start to add up.

In some poorer places it gets so bad the fire department will basically "wink wink" tell you how to burn your house down.

Other areas have a much nicer version which is "remain visually similar" - basically you can't change how the house looks from the street but you can do whatever you want/need inside.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#283

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is quoting a stoic on HN the same as playing 'Stairway to Heaven' in a guitar shop? I do love this quote of course (and all things Aurelius).

...I had no idea it was common here on HN, though I'm not surprised. It was just something that's helped me a fair bit and I hope(d) it could help others too.

It's not just HN, stoics hit a "rational coder" approach to life chord with those who fight computers all day.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#284

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

It seems you define regret as: if I went back in time I would do instead of and of course this is a pointless exercise if you choose to define it this way. Most people I think define regret more abstractly: back in time, was a _mistake_, it shouldn't have happened, _I_ shouldn't have done it that way and consequences came from it either for myself or those I love. It seems from your response that you're ok with admit…

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#285
post #261

I'm torn on this. My life is pretty great. Well paid, leaving a job I hate for a job I think I will love in the next few weeks, loving family. Things would be drastically different if not for the path I actually took, but still. I'm a developer, and a decent one - not FAANG level by any means, but decent. But, my degree is from a school nobody's ever heard of, in an unrelated humanities subject, with a horrendous, ba…

> I'm a developer, and a decent one - not FAANG level by any means, but decent

This statement rubs me the wrong way. What does that mean being "FAANG level"? It's either a misconception of what is going on there or underestimating yourself... Or both

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#286

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…

There are a lot of people like you. Adults looking for friends out of college or work. Just expanding the social circle, hanging out online and if possible IRL at times.

I suggest joining communities for topics that interest you, for starters. You're likely to meet some like minded people and make a few a friends. This happened for me every time I tried a new hobby.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#288

I dated a girl in college, and we were deeply in love. So much so that we got engaged. The one problem was that her family didn't approve of her dating me because of my race. She had initially been hesitant to introduce me to them, but I had insisted that she do it. When they threatened to disown her if she married me, she said that we should just do it and live our lives together. But I was too much of a coward to f…

I had a similar experience. Her father threatened to fly over and take her back forcefully if she didn't stop dating me. She told him she stopped but kept seeing me.

Eventually she hoped to elope. She also had a deadline for leaving the country, visa etc... I wasn't as sure as you sounded tho and decided even though things were great we had not been together long enough to get married and she shouldn't give up her family for me.

Two years after she got back they made her choose a husband from one of 3 from a matchmaker. She said she wasn't in love with the guy but she was doing her duty.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#290
post #13

Bitcoin. I knew about it from the very beginning.

If it's any consolation, you probably would have lost it all in Mt. Gox's blowup anyway. (At least that's what I tell myself :))

Haha. I lost all my bitcoin stored on a personal wallet. Doesn't even have to be Mt. Gox
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