Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#211

Post by secludedrelish » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:27 PM UTC

kanzure wrote: post #208

wussboy wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're confused as to the point of school. We often believe the point of school is the academics, but I would argue it's the social. Studies indicate social skills are more important to future success than academics. A hurriedly-googled link: https://www.tcscholars.org/social-success/ And I would also argue you need excellent social skills to reach your potential academically. So, yes, your kids did better ac…

> We often believe the point of school is the academics, but I would argue it's the social. Studies indicate social skills are more important to future success than academics. How much socialization do kids really get in school anyway? They get 5 minute hallway breaks (if they are lucky) between 7 to 9 periods of classes per day. Maybe the bus ride in/out for 20-30 minutes. Lunch or recess. So how much time is that,…

I'd say group projects and class group activities with a goal are far more important forms of socialization than free time socialization.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#212

Post by muffinman26 » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:28 PM UTC

f154hfds wrote: post #80

kennywinker wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And there are few things more enriching for your child then getting involved in their education That’s a pleasing statement that seems true, but ignores the millions of ways that parents can be a bad influence. Over pressuring, taking away agency, just being bad study partners, biasing data as it arrives, etc etc etc. Everyone wants to believe they will be a good parent. But everyone will fuck it up in some way. On…

This is a signal vs. noise issue. Quite simply if you think your values are better than the average (and believe me - you do think this) then it makes sense to inculcate your values into your children as much as possible. A decision to not home educate your children is usually because of other considerations, usually financial, sometimes cultural, etc. I don't want to minimize your point about mental health though. I…

This is why I have an initial distrust for home schooling parents. Most of the home schooling parents I've personally encountered were members of various manipulative cults. They home-schooled their children because they wanted to control their child's world view as much as possible - make sure they never heard about scientific studies that would challenge their unfounded beliefs or encountered people who believed differently.

If you actually believe that your values and world view are correct, then you shouldn't be worried about your child encountering other world views. As long as you teach your child to think for themself, they should ultimately recognize your values are better.

Personally, I want my child to think I'm a terrible person, because I want them to be better than me. Our ancestors made loads of mistakes, and I want my children to recognize mine.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#213

Post by jameskraus » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

I was homeschooled and it was an isolating experience that set me back socially until I finally pleaded with my parents to let me go to public school. It took me a _while_ to catch up to my peers socially and it caused me a least a year of being a social outcast until I learned how to act "normal". Did I learn some topics ahead of other kids? Sure. Was it at all good for my development as a person? Oh god no. 0/10, would not recommend homeschooling.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#214

Post by sergiotapia » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

I don't want my child to have zero social skills or experience with the opposite sex. That's literally why I don't do it.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

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Post by ok_dad » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

DennisP wrote: post #209

monk_e_boy wrote: post #206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I work in educating young men and women, ages 16 up to around 60. Homeschooled kids almost never make a year in "normal" education. They fail to adjust to a small college, they are no longer the center of attention. They have to wait for others to catch up. They are not team players. It's really hard to watch.

The rest sounds bad but "they have to wait for others to catch up" sounds like a win for homeschooling.

Have you ever heard of the fable about the tortoise and the hare? Sometimes speed isn't the most important.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

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Post by AdrianB1 » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:30 PM UTC

The law: it cannot be done legally in my country.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#217

Post by itronitron » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:31 PM UTC

ComradePhil wrote: post #121

ElijahLynn wrote: post #108

Social needs. Children need to learn how to be in relationship with others, it is the most fundamental need we have and is so important for the future of our planet. If I were to homeschool, it isn't about the learning, that is easy, it is about providing an environment where children can learn to co-exist with others. That can still be done with homeschool, but it will need to be intentional with daily activities th…

They need to learn how to be in relation to people who know and care about them, not other random kids (some of whom will be abused at home and hence abusive at school) and the teachers, some of whom will be extremely incompetent, emotionally abusive, pedophiles or all of that. There's absolutely no way sending a kid to school is better for their social life in any way.

That triggers two memories for me, 1) having a classmate in middle school that would regularly boast about drinking a 'rum and coke' on his way to school in order to start the day off right, and 2) hearing that my child's school was having the 3rd grade GT class (which my child was in) teach the second graders how to read, and of course several of those second graders were older than my third grader.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#218

Post by medion » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:31 PM UTC

ElijahLynn wrote: post #108

Social needs. Children need to learn how to be in relationship with others, it is the most fundamental need we have and is so important for the future of our planet. If I were to homeschool, it isn't about the learning, that is easy, it is about providing an environment where children can learn to co-exist with others. That can still be done with homeschool, but it will need to be intentional with daily activities th…

The social needs argument is always made by those who went to traditional schools. Always. It's a kind of 'mesearch' argument.

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#219

Post by willnz » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:32 PM UTC

scifibestfi wrote: post #189

ElijahLynn wrote: post #108

Social needs. Children need to learn how to be in relationship with others, it is the most fundamental need we have and is so important for the future of our planet. If I were to homeschool, it isn't about the learning, that is easy, it is about providing an environment where children can learn to co-exist with others. That can still be done with homeschool, but it will need to be intentional with daily activities th…

I went to public school and would argue it's a terrible place to be socialized. You are socialized by kids your age in an environment that's more akin to prison than the real world.

Yep, high school socialisation is so far removed from real life socialisation it’s funny. When I look back at my public school years I laugh to think we were supposedly learning vital social skills!

What other part of life do you interact with only people who were born in the same year as you were (and, in the case of some schools, only your sex)?

Homeschooled children (in my experience) learn to make friends with kids a lot older and younger than they are. They also learn to look after and teach younger ones, and learn from older ones.

I went to public school myself, my wife was homeschooled (for all but two high school years), and we homeschool our five kids. There’s pretty much no reason I’d consider sending them to school, unless they want to in their high school years (so far our oldest doesn’t).

Re: Ask HN: If you’ve considered homeschooling, what’s stopping you?

#220

Post by hnhg » Fri, Jul 01, 2022, 9:32 PM UTC

JJMcJ wrote: post #192

scifibestfi wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I went to public school and would argue it's a terrible place to be socialized. You are socialized by kids your age in an environment that's more akin to prison than the real world.

Public school socialization. Humiliated by teachers. Bullied by some people. Small circle of friends. Adults as the enemy. All the homeschooled kids I've met seem pleasant, polite, comfortable around other kids and around adults. Of course this is Northern California so elsewhere the story may be different. Oh, and homeschooling is forbidden in Germany, under a 1938 law. 1938. Get it? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, elbow…

If we're going with full anecdotes, all the homeschooled folks I've had to deal with have had major issues integrating with wider society. I felt a bit sorry for them, even if they weren't always the nicest or well-meaning people to actually be around. But by the time they're a bit older, I guess it's too late.