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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#201

Post by amznbyebyebye »

dr_faustus wrote: post #103

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…

Unpopular opinion but even if you are a Bill Gates, I don’t think there is anything of substance about his technological innovation.

What is noteworthy is how he has used his wealth in his philanthropic efforts to eradicate disease and suffering. That deserves kudos.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#202

Post by jart »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #158
jart wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

(3) is a very negative way of looking at things. Do you think Bill Gates did it on his own? You don't have to be famous in order to play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations.

> You don't have to be famous in order to play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations. Once someone leaves a company, their work generally fades into oblivion. Almost immediately, too. Are you around 25? I used to feel as you do. But at 34, I'm with OP.

I'm older than you. The code I write and the production systems I've brought online tend to stick around. It's because I pour my heart and soul into making them as beautiful and poetic as possible. Because I'm not just thinking about my paycheck. I'm thinking about the next guy who's going to be maintaining it, and how good his life is going to be, after I've moved on to a different project, and then the next guy. I think if we all approached our work with the same level of tender loving care that we normally reserve only for our children, then the world would be a more pleasant place.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#204

Post by alt227 »

Taywee wrote: post #192
alt227 wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Glad this works for you, but humans are not all the same. Dont assume what makes you happy also makes other people happy. This is akin to telling somebody with depression to 'Cheer Up'.

Absolutely not. Even introverts need social connections. It's more akin to telling somebody to get fit because it's good for their health. Introvert does not mean asocial or antisocial. Social connections are a fundamental part of every human's mental health. Maybe some disorders might change this up, but being an introvert is not that.

So why do I feel ike you are specifically telling me that what makes me happy is wrong and bad for me?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#206

Post by anovikov »

But that's true, all modern "new" technologies are bullshit, they are little but attempts to milk the most stupid of consumers using same old shit under new names (Metaverse? we had Second Life for how many years? VR? VFX-1 was working just fine 25 years ago, and was about as useless as today's gear).

That's alright, keep your savings in the stock market and retire happily at 65, and for now just do something taking as little effort as possible to fund your current expenses.

Young people aren't "better", they just don't know how pointless life is, YET.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#207

Post by PaulHoule »

CodeGlitch wrote: post #182
dr_faustus wrote: post #103

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…

(2) This! Once you have kids your focus is on other people rather than yourself, which makes you a better human being... well that was my experience at least. Don't leave it too late. Take a look at the current "feminism" movement that aims to empower women to be equal to men in the job market. What has happened in the West is that women are realising by the age of 40 they have a great job, but no kids or long term r…

I wouldn’t say that was the result of a feminist movement as much powerful interests in society being able to exploit women’s work much more systematically.

If a woman has a career the government can tax their earnings and somebody like Jeff Bezos has the value of their stock holdings increase by some multiple of the earnings created. Contrast that to unpaid domestic work which doesn’t contribute to either but does contribute to the welfare of the family.

Manicur Olson points out that large groups (50% of the population) have the most difficult time organizing on their own behalf, whereas small special interest groups that are more concentrated are much more effective at getting what they want. The most effective social movements have both an elite and mass component.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#208

Post by 300bps »

Aeolun wrote: post #168
jimt222 wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see I'm 68 and this is self-limiting B.S. In the last few years I have seen many things I never saw before, and never imagined. Ironically, when I was about 30, I was in a similar position and complained to my dad that there was nothing new under the sun, everything is just a rehash of what has come b…

You don’t feel the amount of new things you see slows down considerably as you grow older? It’s not that you can’t find novel things any more if you go looking for them, but most everyday things hold no more (or less) excitement. I notice this especially much with my 3 year old son, for whom everything is fascinating. He’ll find out that sticking a bowl upside down in the water and turning it face up will make a lot…

You don’t feel the amount of new things you see slows down considerably as you grow older?

Not OP but I don’t feel this way at all.

My oldest son is starting college next year. That alone has been a learning experience! I coach his robotics team, that has been tremendously new experiences.

I’ve gotten three cloud certifications in the past year. I have a huge list of things I want to learn about - assembly language on Linux, FPGAs and about 20 other things.

I could spend 10,000 lifetimes and not scratch the surface of what this world has to offer.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#209

Post by tomohawk »

There seems to be a lot of focus on the material in your post. The material aspects of life are not unimportant, but they are secondary.

If this focus on the outer person is not satisfying, then it may be time to explore other aspects of life. The following site can help you investigate this for yourself:

https://www.selfauthoring.com/

What you are experiencing is nothing new. The book of Ecclesiastes was written thousands of years ago, and may be worth a look. Here's the first chapter:

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ecclesiastes%20...

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#210

Post by allisdust »

Unpopular opinion:

Start getting spiritual. You will notice eventually that all the life long ambitions/hobbies/craving for experiences is like a relay race of sorts where the baton(craving) gets continuously passed around to the next of runner only to be repeated again and again.

The emptiness is not due to lack of experiences in life. It's due to the realisation that every desire, experience, happiness, pain is made of the same underlying thing. So chasing after more is not going to be anymore fulfilling. Like another comment said, start living for others.

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