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Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

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Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#21

Post by devwithanxiety »

giantg2 wrote: post #19

This sounds a lot like me. I have a disability that contributes to this. It's possible you could ask for accommodations to lower the pressure, such as async code reviews or something. On a side note, what they put in the posting about being "fast paced" and stuff is almost always fluff. I don't know of any slow paced dev jobs, but the degree of pace doesn't seem to be correlated to the use of "fast paced" in the post…

Yeah I guess this is true about "fast paced". It's probably just a buzz word everybody uses. Thanks and I hope you are able to get over your anxiety too!

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#22

Post by devwithanxiety »

geye1234 wrote: post #17

The ACT approach worked for me. It's compatible with CBT, but with a different emphasis. The following names may help: Claire Weekes, who somebody else in this thread recommended. She's the pioneer of the approach. She wrote mainly in the mid-20th century but her work is still accessible. Also look at Kevin Majeres' work, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGa-jQJazpY Also look at the DARE Approach to anxie…

Thanks for the advice and book recs! I will take a look at them. I have been given some CBT techniques by my councillor but always good to read up on other systems as well.

> Don't spend much time analysing some deep-seated reason for your anxiety.

Yeah I feel like I'm supposed to be able to instantly see the problem on a little introspection yet that never happens. Constantly wondering why I feel like this doesn't seem to help much.

> You will not be making good decisions while anxious, and other careers will not be less stressful.

Good point. Most well paid careers do pay well because there's a demanding aspec t to them.

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#23

Post by devwithanxiety »

codingdave wrote: post #11

> code reviews, sprints and constant deadlines. Don't accept a job where teams do Scrum. Scrum is an anxiety-inducing never-ending marathon. If people without anxiety make it work for them, great - but it doesn't work for me, so I reject it. More broadly speaking, figure out if you have other boundaries you need to set, and make discovery of whether or not those boundaries would be crossed a part of any interview pro…

Hey thanks for the tips!

> Don't accept a job where teams do Scrum.

Yeah I haven't enjoyed working under points and sprints. There just never seems to be a logical end to your work or even a pause.

> Find a place where you are helping the business run, but not directly producing the product that defines the business.

I like this a lot and it makes perfect sense. Thank you very much.

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#24

Post by wruza »

geye1234 wrote: post #17

The ACT approach worked for me. It's compatible with CBT, but with a different emphasis. The following names may help: Claire Weekes, who somebody else in this thread recommended. She's the pioneer of the approach. She wrote mainly in the mid-20th century but her work is still accessible. Also look at Kevin Majeres' work, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGa-jQJazpY Also look at the DARE Approach to anxie…

You want to train the rational part of your brain to disregard the anxiety signals coming from your amygdla; and over time, the amygdla's messages will become less and less intense

Can that really be more effective than/without digging to the cause? My personal experience with downward arrow is that on success, it doesn't reduce anxiety by itself, but it adds lots of courage and knowledge to intentionally face situations where it comes up and to go through aware. If you don't know what's wrong... hmm I'm not a therapist to figure it out. Do you really feel it less, or do you accept it like a tinnitus? (I mean the latter is a solution but personally I'd rather not feel it).

You will not be making good decisions while anxious, and other careers will not be less stressful

Mostly agreed. Because (from CBT perspective) while it's nice to take a break and relax, the crucial reflection info disappears. It's sort of a pointless pause and the issues will find you anyway.

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#25

Post by devwithanxiety »

neverartful wrote: post #16

Have you discussed this with your doctor? If not, I would schedule an appointment ASAP. It's possible that medication might be able to help significantly. If it does help, it could be that it helps you enough to turn things into a more manageable situation at work. This might not be your long-term optimal solution, but it could make life less miserable until you do find your long-term optimal.

Thanks! Fortunately I'm not that bad to the point of being miserable. 3 years ago I tried lexapro for 3-6 months. It worked somewhat but was more of a bandaid. Beyond medication, I'm not quite sure what else a doctor can do that a councillor can't provide.

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#26

Post by devwithanxiety »

vuggamie wrote: post #6

Lexapro made a huge difference for me. Much more than exercise, meditation, counseling, or journaling. I have tried to come off it a few times and each time it's kind of a disaster.

Yes I was on this in the first year of my anxiety but for me it didn't really help. But I know for others it's been extremely helpful. Glad it worked well for you!

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#27

Post by devwithanxiety »

brudgers wrote: post #10

I do want meaningful work What kind of work is meaningful to you? It does not have to involve making software. Good luck.

True. It doesn't have to be software. For now I do want to stay with my career given how much I've invested into it. Im mid 40s so a career change now feels a bit of a hastle.

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#28

Post by wruza »

throw742809 wrote: post #20

Throw away. Most of the advice you will get is wrong. Not bad-wrong but waste-your-years-doing-100-useless-stuff-wrong. Most solutions attempt to be a cookie-cutter which fits all. Anxiety is body's natural response to an environment. Your job was not the problem. How you thought you were supposed to work - was the real activator. Even if you find a healthy job, you will yearn that "high" from the stress. Once anxiet…

While true, anxiety looks for nice pockets to throw fireballs at you from. And bulldozing these pockets is a part of reducing it. It's sort of an insect control. You can't get rid of them really, but there's a world of difference between a room full of insects and a single mosquito flying around.

If you learn to accept it as part of your natural response, you will calm it down

How do you deal with mind numbing effect of experiencing it in the first [how much time?]? Or is it just a feeling that doesn't intrude your intelligence? I guess I do just accept it most of the time when it's <= "3.5/10". But when it's high it's just debilitating, mentally and even physically. What was your method?

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#29

Post by Agingcoder »

Try small businesses, large corps which don’t sell IT products, or even universities / government / etc. Avoid startups / competitive places.

You probably want to address your anxiety as well - where it comes from, how it affects you, can you do something about it, if you can’t how you can deal with it, etc

I’m supposed to be a high achiever professionally speaking ( by most metrics I’ve done well enough at least good enough for me), but still have to keep my natural anxiety in check. Surprisingly enough I’ve eventually figured out that when I’m stressed out there’s a reason, and that I can actually find it if I search for it. If I don’t look for it then I just end up completely paralyzed. The solution usually boils down to addressing the thing I’m afraid of.

Changing careers is another option, but there’s no reason why your anxiety won’t come back so I’d work on the anxiety first.

I wish you the best !

Re: Ask HN: Struggling with Anxiety as a Developer – What Are My Options?

#30

Post by margor »

wruza wrote: post #24
geye1234 wrote: post #17

The ACT approach worked for me. It's compatible with CBT, but with a different emphasis. The following names may help: Claire Weekes, who somebody else in this thread recommended. She's the pioneer of the approach. She wrote mainly in the mid-20th century but her work is still accessible. Also look at Kevin Majeres' work, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGa-jQJazpY Also look at the DARE Approach to anxie…

You want to train the rational part of your brain to disregard the anxiety signals coming from your amygdla; and over time, the amygdla's messages will become less and less intense Can that really be more effective than/without digging to the cause? My personal experience with downward arrow is that on success, it doesn't reduce anxiety by itself, but it adds lots of courage and knowledge to intentionally face situat…

Something that helped with my anxiety is changing the way I think about my physical and mental issues where even if I have some underlying conditions causing anxiety, it should not define how I feel about it because I am in the control of how I feel. Even if you have tinnitus, and it causes you great discomfort, you must convince yourself that tinnitus does not define how you feel about it, that it does not cause continous issues, and that worrying and digging on the causes of it can actually make it worse because our brains are stupid sometimes.

It does help, but you must push through it. Your body will give you signals that its not ok, but you must try to ignore it, and then you may actually feel better, even if your underlying causes did not change.

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