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Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#21

Post by mpsprd »

csw-001 wrote: post #18

We have two kids who were raised essentially screen-free until 3, then on a 1hr a week diet until 6. We worried all the time about the transition to school, and the cultural norm of allowing a lot more screen time. This was an imagined dragon - this has not been an issue at all. My oldest just got a Switch, she plays less than 1/2hr a day - then she walks away without issue. She has friends with phones and iWatches (…

That's really helpful, thank you. Focusing on the actual behavioural problems instead of "having x hours a week" does make sense.

Maybe I focus on this more because younger me was denied video games for many years, until I bought my own consoles/pc and got to "eat the whole cake".

I really don't want to reproduce that pattern.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#22

Post by cwoolfe »

I've thought a lot about this and am currently developing screenshot/AI-based monitoring for device usage for my kids under the age of 12. Aside from that, here's what our family does. We have three children under the age of seven. 1. Limit use to specific days, and specific time of day. This will keep them constantly asking you for it. 2. Choose high quality, age-appropriate shows like Daniel Tiger, Bluey. High quality creative games like Minecraft. I wrote some code to filter Rotten-Tomatoes "Fresh" movies by age-appropriateness via commonsense media. I'll host this on a website sometime soon. 3. Choose a DNS filter for your home router as a back-stop against accidental searches with inappropriate results. 4. Get to know the Screen Time options. It is possible to disable age-restricted content and disable Safari web browser. 5. I don't let them roam YouTube. It's mostly junk. 6. Probably goes without saying when considering young children, but still worth repeating the surgeon general's advice: Avoid social media until at least age 16. 7. Also worth mentioning that human trafficking of children does happen, even among young children, and predators use online spaces to find and groom children. So keep this in mind when you consider what you allow for your kids. 8. Also, sexting is a real thing that happens frequently and is frequently regretted or weaponized. Teach your kids to never ever take an inappropriate photo of their bodies.

Also would love to hear what everyone else is doing!

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#23

Post by jmacklin308 »

My son is 4, only tech he uses is the TV and some toys. Down the road, when he is 8 or so, I'm going to lock down a raspberry pie to tinker around with. No free rein to the internet, though. Just would like him to be curious, then ask me for help, so we can figure it out together. I'm still thinking about what I'll do with the cell phone situation. Lots of variables to consider.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#24

Post by comprev »

My friend has raised her daughter (8yo) virtually "mobile screen free" so far. Whenever we meet up for a meal out I often look around and see other kids transfixed with phones, wheres as my friends kid is fully engaged with us adults. To be honest it's fun playing childhood games I remember with her if she needs "distracting" while other adults might need to discuss something.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#26

Post by mpsprd »

lefstathiou wrote: post #17

I won't opine on how to manage usage of of tech as the comments already handle that well. One thing I'd like to respectfully point out to our community, which I personally think is going to snowball into a full blown health crisis, is children's posture while using tech. I live in NYC and everywhere I go I'm seeing kids and adults craning their necks and backs at 45-60 degree angles. My mother was a seamstress for 30…

Heh, I am reading this with a nasty neck pain.

I spent a lot of time managing ergonomics on my work station (ergodox custom keyboard, single screen, raising desk, etc), but here I am looking down on my phone.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#27

Post by CharlesW »

vorpalhex wrote: post #8

I've read up a bunch on this and we've done a bunch of thinking. We will likely heavily restrict screentime. Ideally no screentime until we are two, and then we will probably allow 15 minutes of "watching" a day. I suspect we will make a pretty broad exception for actual games though. Probably airplane rides will get some general exception too since that is just a limited environment. As we get older we may allow som…

> Any toy that does the entertaining for the child is disallowed.

I think this is a really important point — "screen time" isn't really a problem in and of itself. If one of my kids wants to spend hours obsessing over a composition in GarageBand, I'm going to stay out of it other than encouraging regular breaks to prevent eyestrain.

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#28

Post by adaptbrian »

bentt wrote: post #5

Get him a laptop early. Teach him how to make things. Separate “creative time” from “consumption time”. Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. The TP-Link Deco series is what I use and it does the job. Avoid a real smartphone for as long as possible. 9th grade would be ideal. Give other ways to communicate - smart watcj, dumb phone, Discord on laptop. This is about manners, litera…

Are you worried about the openness of acesss with discord, I recommend the same then my partner was like what about the randos and I didn't have an answer...

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#29

Post by zachlatta »

I run Hack Club, which is a nonprofit that helps high schoolers who love computers connect with each other.

I’ve talked to a lot of parents about this, and one policy that stood out to me was:

- It’s allowed to use a computer to create things as much as you want, but you need to use the family computer in a common space - learning to code, writing a book, composing music, anything where you’re making something

- You can have 1 hour of screen time daily on personal devices outside of common spaces for consuming - TV / etc

I liked this because it emphasizes positive use of computers. I think something like this could be great up until age 13 or so, then it should probably be a lot more permissive.

Edit: I’m pretty sure bentt, who is also in this thread, is the parent I’m referring to. Hi Ben!

Re: Ask HN: How do you handle tech use with your kids?

#30

Post by lnsru »

comprev wrote: post #24

My friend has raised her daughter (8yo) virtually "mobile screen free" so far. Whenever we meet up for a meal out I often look around and see other kids transfixed with phones, wheres as my friends kid is fully engaged with us adults. To be honest it's fun playing childhood games I remember with her if she needs "distracting" while other adults might need to discuss something.

Doing the same. No cellphone. Even in a plane during boring couple hour plane trip. Only computer games, much healthier for posture. Computer games only during holidays and no games during school days. Most of the kids in class have smart watches, so smartphone pressure is very low.
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