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Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

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Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#21

Post by digitalsushi »

nurettin wrote: post #11

"I'm 35, I have half a million dollars and I feel like shit because I don't go to parties anymore" "I'm 40 something I am a millionaire I bicker with my wife over the next thing we will add to our high tech house so I feel like shit" "I am a solo founder who got burned out and lost all meaning" "I'm a deeply conflicted person who believes it is good to help people but I can't bring myself to do it, why oh why?" Is HN…

Perhaps HN has an unusually high number of people experiencing the same thing - forced work-from-home, induced isolation, and 24 months of compounding effects from a pandemic. I'd love to holodeck this and see if a few months of beers, patio lunches, and watercooler coffees pushed the numbers back to 'normal'

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#22

Post by sackerhews »

nurettin wrote: post #11

"I'm 35, I have half a million dollars and I feel like shit because I don't go to parties anymore" "I'm 40 something I am a millionaire I bicker with my wife over the next thing we will add to our high tech house so I feel like shit" "I am a solo founder who got burned out and lost all meaning" "I'm a deeply conflicted person who believes it is good to help people but I can't bring myself to do it, why oh why?" Is HN…

You're the one mentioning men.

Those are real issues, made particularly worse due to covid.

They also make it to the front page so they ought to resonate with the crowd.

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#24

Post by hindsightbias »

Zircom wrote: post #12

This is gonna sound cynical but I don't enjoy being "helpful" at work because it often comes back to bite me in the ass. I work in IT, and if you go the extra mile for a person one time they often expect that to be the norm from that point forward and may even tell other people about it who will then expect it to be the norm for them as well, and it just becomes extra work that's expected of you on top of your normal…

I’ll move mountains for people as long as they’ve RTFM and have not demonstrated themselves to be idiots/leaches.

Sadly, most knowledge today is google deep and people don’t even know what a manual is.

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#25

Post by llampx »

deanmoriarty wrote: post #18

It took me a decade of work to realize that in corporate America you are almost always paid for being nice and helpful to your colleagues, rather than your individual contributions, no matter what level you are hired at. And this becomes more and more true as a company scales in number of employees (currently at a FAANG and couldn't be more true). For me personally it was a major shift that occurred over a couple yea…

Not brilliant and highly productive any more?

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#26

Post by deanmoriarty »

llampx wrote: post #25
deanmoriarty wrote: post #18

It took me a decade of work to realize that in corporate America you are almost always paid for being nice and helpful to your colleagues, rather than your individual contributions, no matter what level you are hired at. And this becomes more and more true as a company scales in number of employees (currently at a FAANG and couldn't be more true). For me personally it was a major shift that occurred over a couple yea…

Not brilliant and highly productive any more?

No. Mostly because I am now at a FAANG and the quality of engineers is much better than previously (large not-so-interesting Bay Area startups that get the quality of engineers they can afford to pay, aka well below FAANG), so it is more difficult to stand out.

And the few times I could stand out by making insightful observations in front of senior leaders, it is just not worth it and prefer to let team mates take the lead. I am truly happy being an averagely productive team member, my main goals in life are now towards reaching financial freedom in a few years, and with some luck I am on track even without swinging for the fences on the career side. Senior engineers at FAANG are paid unbelievably well.

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#27

Post by AndrewDucker »

Zircom wrote: post #12

This is gonna sound cynical but I don't enjoy being "helpful" at work because it often comes back to bite me in the ass. I work in IT, and if you go the extra mile for a person one time they often expect that to be the norm from that point forward and may even tell other people about it who will then expect it to be the norm for them as well, and it just becomes extra work that's expected of you on top of your normal…

It needs to be balanced - if something is documented then you can just point them at it.

But people you've done favours for are more likely to do them for you too. And that's a major force multiplier when it comes to your own goals.

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#29

Post by sillysaurusx »

deanmoriarty wrote: post #26
llampx wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not brilliant and highly productive any more?

No. Mostly because I am now at a FAANG and the quality of engineers is much better than previously (large not-so-interesting Bay Area startups that get the quality of engineers they can afford to pay, aka well below FAANG), so it is more difficult to stand out. And the few times I could stand out by making insightful observations in front of senior leaders, it is just not worth it and prefer to let team mates take th…

I wish everyone on HN had these same realizations. Both your comments are gold, almost literally. And people would be much happier to go into software dev with realistic expectations. I would’ve been.

Re: Ask HN: I'm hesitant to helping colleagues, why?

#30

Post by freedom2099 »

digitalsushi wrote: post #21
nurettin wrote: post #11

"I'm 35, I have half a million dollars and I feel like shit because I don't go to parties anymore" "I'm 40 something I am a millionaire I bicker with my wife over the next thing we will add to our high tech house so I feel like shit" "I am a solo founder who got burned out and lost all meaning" "I'm a deeply conflicted person who believes it is good to help people but I can't bring myself to do it, why oh why?" Is HN…

Perhaps HN has an unusually high number of people experiencing the same thing - forced work-from-home, induced isolation, and 24 months of compounding effects from a pandemic. I'd love to holodeck this and see if a few months of beers, patio lunches, and watercooler coffees pushed the numbers back to 'normal'

You mean the joy of working from home and complete isolation?
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