Those stock options in the startup where you work aren't worth much, if anything. The experience is very valuable though.
Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
181–190 of 269 posts
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#182- Shiny things are nowhere as much fun after you get them as before, even if they have some value. So yes, that Kindle or iPad or whatever will have a real use, and you will be marginally happier with it than without, but not as much as you think - You can talk yourself into (or out of) anything. The only difference between smart people and other people is that smart people do this with bigger words and more complex…
Excellent reply (as usual) by DBM, but I disagree with this: Concentrate on your weaknesses. Make them stronger. When you get to your 30s you can work from your strengths, but there has to be some time in your life to work on shit you suck at, and for me it was when I had the most motivation, my 20s. Concentrate on your strengths, even at this age. Peter Drucker's argument sold me: If you work on your weaknesses, the…
I wish that, in my twenties, (1) I knew this, and (2) I had the balls to be brutally honest with myself about what my strengths and weaknesses were
I actually agree with the advice on working on your weaknesses early in life, because pushing your limits helps you better understand yourself. I don't think I was dishonest about myself earlier, maybe too idealistic trying to fix some weaknesses that I nowadays consider part of my personality. And I'm not talking about skills here, but more about mental debugging of your emotions, ambitions, relationships etc.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#183- Try not to get married until after you're 30. By the your libido will have waned a bit, and you will have a clearer head and greater experience to see what kind of person you'd like to spend your life with - Try not to have a kid until after you're 30. A kid cannot raise another kid - Try everything. That way you get to know what you like/hate. - Find something you're passionate about, and learn everything about it…
As someone who just recently bought his first house, it seems unrealistic to have saved up that entire amount within any kind of reasonable timeframe. Obviously, you should buy a house (and other things) that is within your means, which is more what the housing bubble was all about IMO.
But I do agree with your general premise.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#184As someone just about to see my twenties consigned to history here you go: * There is plenty of time to try a few things out and not feel like your doing anything wrong. I went from school to university and threw myself into a career and it brings you financial advantages which, I suppose, may compound in future life but looking around my peers nobody regrets the year travelling or the year working a couple of jobs t…
> People do nice things for people they like.
So true. As a manager, I go the extra mile to keep employees I like.
> I wish I hadn't worried about ... fillings in my teeth
So wrong! If your teeth are fucked up, your life will suffer. Get a grade-A dentist and see him or her often. If you get fillings, go for Gold. It's crazy pricey, but they last for a very long time, don't decay, and won't fill up your mouth with mercury.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#185That you never regret the big fun adventures that you decide to go on. When faced with the decision, it can be really hard to take 6 months off to travel to the destination of your dreams - but in hindsight, these are the best times of your life and you usually don't regret them. I recently sat with a 96 year old man, and his stories were about his trips to his hometown in Europe and to the United States, not about t…
There were several articles over here about the "Experience Self" vs the "Remembering Self", all based on a talk by Dr.Daniel Kahneman ( http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_exper... ) Some articles have a summary: http://sheshtawy.wordpress.com/2010/03/01/experience-self-vs... The remembering self of the old man definitely appreciated the trips better :)
My comments on Kahneman's talk:
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#186Earlier quoted context omitted.
1. If you want to have kids, do it sooner rather than later. My issue is that kids cost a lot of money, which means you lose quite a lot of flexibility. I want to start my own business within the foreseeable future (probably 1-2 years, currently saving money, gathering contacts and getting more on-the-job experience in the field I want to operate in). Right now I know that if I save 20k Euros that could easily last m…
I have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, an 8 week old, and a startup. Having kids has no impact on having your own business. They're completely orthogonal. Using that as an excuse for not having kids makes as much sense as saying "I don't want to eat tacos for dinner because I want to have my own business." Note: I'm not responding directly to your comment; I'm responding to the somewhat pervasive idea on HN that kids are…
Agreed, if nothing else, kids motivate you. They represent something greater than yourself, which can cause you to work harder and be more determined. They also provide inate happiness and joy outside of your work life.
You will be less risky when you have kids. However, not all risk is worth it.
I often found that in college I performed better (higher GPA) with a higher work load than with a lighter work load. I think it is because I was forced to be more efficient, sharper, and wiser with my time. Having kids and starting a business is analagous. However, this is only my personal experience.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
Gandhi, "racist"? Would you mind very much googling "Harijan"? You seem to have latched on to a very strange definition of "racist". Gandhi might have believed during that early period in his life in keeping races separate, which is not surprising given his orthodox upbringing, but he did a very great deal, later, to unite people of all religions and races and motivate them to think of each other as equals, persuadin…
"We believe also that the white race of South Africa should be the predominating race."- Gandhi http://www.trinicenter.com/WorldNews/ghandi4.htm Yes, I'm talking about the early part of his life. Well if you feel comfortable - ex-racist.
Lots of people contribute nothing to racial harmony over their lives and yet they'd be sufficiently politically correct that you couldn't call them racist or ex-racist.
Gandhi ended up having undone the damage to an incredible, extraordinary extent. I'm no Gandhi fanboy, but I don't see how the hint of blame that 'ex-racist' implies can be applied to his life.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#188Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not to disagree, but a counter-argument could be that working on your weaknesses makes you a more well rounded person. This is a hunter-warrior/contractor vs a jack-of-all-trades/leader.
what is the advantage to being well rounded? I always thought that was a euphemism for average.
I think the crux of the matter is that there are so many things to be good at. Most people aren't any good at most things, so if you put a little effort it then you can be better than average even if you're not particularly talented in that arena.
Speaking of talent, another important point is that talent is overrated. You never know when you will break through from being average to good or great. People who write themselves off saying "I'm just not good at that" will never have the chance. The effort that the greats have put it in is always hidden to us.
So my advice is if you enjoy something don't worry too much about sucking it at.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think experiences are highly overrated. What I've seen, done or felt quickly gets pale and fades into the background. For me nothing can replace learning new interesting things and understanding new interesting concepts.
So you enjoy experiences that result in learning?
No. Just learning and understanding. It happens mostly inside my head when I'm in front of a book, sheet of paper or a computer. Such interaction could hardly be called experience.
Re: Ask HN: What were your naivetés in your twenties?
#190People aren't rational. Learning about behavioral economics and Kahneman's list of cognitive failures in the early 90s (before the current boom) made me analyze my thinking and others more carefully. As someone else said, most smart people aren't really that smart. They are brilliant at rationalizing their impulsive conclusions. Where I once obsessed about what others thought of my ideas, now I can scavenge their arguments for a few morsels of good advice.
Also, stop being embarrassed about stuff. No one is looking at your zit or stained shirt or messy hair. It's called the spotlight effect: we think people are noticing the things we are self-conscious about. Everyone is too busy worrying about their own self-image.