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Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#161
50. I wish I had not been so fat. I lost 80 pounds over the last 2 years walking 2.5 miles a day and eating more healthily.

I wish I would have saved more or taken pensions more seriously.

I wish I had made my kids do more chores around the house to better prepare them for adulthood.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#162
post #32

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

This. I had kids in my early 20s. It’s great because I still have a connection with them even though two are adults. Kids from much older parents (40+) are also almost completely weird.

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Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#163

I'm in my early 40s, I can't really think of anything, maybe because it's too close to realize what mistakes I might have made, and I don't really believe in that kind of retrospection generally. FWIW, if you are in a position where you could potentially start a family (and want to some day), consider doing it in your early 30s (or earlier), there are a lot of things that get tougher as you get older. I don't regret…

surely how you feel and your mental age matters too other than your actual age. Some people (prob myself included) feel like 20 even though I'm 30

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#164

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

that's for women right? Cause I don't see what's stopping me spreading the seed even at 50. My wood going stronger at 30 than it's ever been at 20

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#165

I joined the Orthodox Church in my 40s. I wish I would have known about it when I was younger, especially in my 30s, with my young family. The benefits that come from daily spiritual devotion both individually and a family, as well as the benefits that come from being part of a faithful community are impossible to list. Is it all easy and is it all benefits? Of course not. But centering my life around God through dai…

As someone born in eastern EU country. I am well familiar with orthodox, so I really don't see what's good about it. In our countries the priests are one of the most corrupted individuals who are always fat (as opposed to generally skinny population of poor people that can't afford much food) and always drive the nicest cars. How spiritual they are is arguable. They don't pay taxes, still are allowed to have wives and families and their working hours is way less than 40/w. If that's the life you are going for, then being and orthodox priest is the way to go.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#166

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

Additionally, If you're waiting for the "right time" it'll never happen.

This is the point I'd stress. There's never a "right time", you'll always wonder if you're doing the right thing, and there'll always be reasons why you should wait a year or two more.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#167

I joined the Orthodox Church in my 40s. I wish I would have known about it when I was younger, especially in my 30s, with my young family. The benefits that come from daily spiritual devotion both individually and a family, as well as the benefits that come from being part of a faithful community are impossible to list. Is it all easy and is it all benefits? Of course not. But centering my life around God through dai…

As someone born in eastern EU country. I am well familiar with orthodox, so I really don't see what's good about it. In our countries the priests are one of the most corrupted individuals who are always fat (as opposed to generally skinny population of poor people that can't afford much food) and always drive the nicest cars. How spiritual they are is arguable. They don't pay taxes, still are allowed to have wives an…

I consider it no small blessing that I have a pious priest as my spiritual father. May God bless you in your struggle.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#168
post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Orthodoxy definitely takes a different approach than just accepting a proposition. I was a staunch atheist for many years, after having grown up Mormon. I was bitter and felt betrayed as I fell away from Mormonism. Here's what changed for me: I realized that the Christianity I had been a part of was still rooted in the Enlightenment and in empiricism. It tries to prove itself to be legitimate and relevant by trying t…

Thank you for the great response. I am also not a fan of conflating science and religion, so this is a refreshing take. I will take a look into Jonathan Pageau and maybe even visit my local Orthodox church (although I'm very scared)!

Be patient with yourself and take it one day at a time.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#169
- Everything in moderation.

- Max out retirement contributions.

- Use all of your vacation time, set strict limits on work hours. [1]

- Exercise, eat real food, take time to relax. All three are connected and work together. You cannot optimize for just one.

[1] Stress is a destroyer of both your mental and physical health that has real long term consequences. No startup/job/employer/etc is worth destroying yourself over. If you are at a burn-out factory now, get out as soon as possible.

Re: Ask HN: What do you wish you had done/known in your 30s?

#170

In your 30s, if you are waiting to have kids for various reasons, you really need to stop delaying. Your probability of successfully having kids goes down every year, and by your early 40s your options for medical help if you have infertility stop being available because even those interventions lose effectiveness. If you want kids, just have the kids. You're not going to care that you were being responsible and wait…

that's for women right? Cause I don't see what's stopping me spreading the seed even at 50. My wood going stronger at 30 than it's ever been at 20

The older you are, the more likely that you will pass genetic abnormalities to your child. Sperm gene quality (i.e. the genetic version of not having bitflips in memory) deteriorates with age. If you have a choice it's probably better to have a similar timetable as women
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