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Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

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Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#151

Post by starkfist »

acid_bath wrote: post #61
iamelgringo wrote: post #52

My understanding of your problem: You're depressed, you can't focus on any one of your "hundred" ideas, you haven't paid off your debt on a $60k salary working for a fortune 500 company, and you aren't building cool shit like you really want to be doing. And you can't lose weight. Solution: Move to Silicon Valley/SF and get a job at a startup. There are tons of recently funded startups hiring right now. Guaranteed yo…

I'm going to offer a counter-point to your suggestion: I don't believe changing the external environment, or income, or people who you are near, is going to do jack shit. Here's why: I feel exactly like the OP. Failed weight loss. Failed relationships (in my case it's making good friends / co-worker relationships). A giant list of failed or incomplete side projects. Still can't pay off my loans. The difference: I mak…

Leaving NYC for somewhere that isn't one of the world's biggest urban pressure cookers is actually pretty useful for re-adjusting your perspective. My blood pressure drops about 10 points every time I'm on vacation. Don't forget that this place is ranked dead last on the "happiest places in america" chart. Even when I think I'm happy here, my physical stress indicators tell me otherwise...

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#152

Post by acid_bath »

iamelgringo wrote: post #130
acid_bath wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm going to offer a counter-point to your suggestion: I don't believe changing the external environment, or income, or people who you are near, is going to do jack shit. Here's why: I feel exactly like the OP. Failed weight loss. Failed relationships (in my case it's making good friends / co-worker relationships). A giant list of failed or incomplete side projects. Still can't pay off my loans. The difference: I mak…

While I understand your opinion, I couldn't disagree more. I've lived in Costa Rica and Honduras as a child. As an adult, I've also lived in Minnesota, Chicago, Rhode Island, LA, Fresno and now the Bay Area. Depending on your personality type, the city where you live is going to have a dramatic effect on your outlook on life. For instance, if you're a foodie or an artist Providence Rhode Island is going to be phenome…

Rock on man :) If that makes you happy, rock on.

My motivation for posting my wall of text is that I just don't think his problem is external. Maybe external changes will prompt some introspective changes, maybe it won't, I just genuinely don't believe that latching on to meaning given to you by others (job, house, debt reduction) has inherent value when it comes to getting over an existentialist funk.

:)

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#153

Post by GBond »

acid_bath wrote: post #125
exit wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

just to be clear, you make 3 x 60,000/year working at a start up?

NYC rates, yep. I'd make significantly less elsewhere. Three things: NYC is expensive. A 6 pack of crummy beer is $14 across the street from my office, and a studio in Harlem is still $2,000/mo. Realistically, $100k/year in NYC is like $60k/year elsewhere. I know quite a few people making six figures that live 2 hours outside of the city because they can't afford it and I've read that you shouldn't even consider havi…

You make it seem like that ~200k salary for a 25 year old developer is the norm in NYC. It is not. The only industry that comes close to that number in NYC is in finance (hedge fund, IB quants, algo trading).

I've working in NYC for 10 years in various industries. Here is my observation of pay rates from highest pay to lower:

Finance line of biz (eg. quant model programmer)

Finance IT

megacorp software corps (Google, M$)

startups no equity

startups w/ equity

other industry IT (publishing, media)

My observation is that nyc startups pay slightly more than your run-of the mill fortune 500 but less than megacorp software shops and finance. Even less of a base salary if they offer equity. Granted I may be talking to the wrong startups and anomalies exists but your characterization is off.

Yes, NY is expensive but your limiting your scope to Manhattan. The average salary for people living in NYC is 50k, most of whom work in Manhattan. They somehow manage to "get-by". Also, high cost of living doesn't automatically equate to every company doling out high base pay.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#155

Post by pontifier »

step 1: find a person of the opposite sex.

step 2 make a baby with them.

step 3 stop worrying about your old problems because you now have a bunch of new ones.

step 4 realise that your instincts have been honed by thousands of generations of evolution to reward behaviours that increase your chances of reproducing, and denying those urges will result in unhappiness.

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