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Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

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Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#141

Post by thehardsphere »

fsagadhadffsh wrote: post #108
rb808 wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This has the added benefit that when you talk to normal people you will realize you really know a lot about tech compared to everyone else.

Thinking like this and, potentially because people with that mindset can't keep it to themselves, talking like this is the best way to become a loner who is hated by absolutely any sincere or loving person. Yikes.

Umm, what?

You can know vastly more about something than average people without developing and projecting a sense of superiority over them. That's actually something pretty much every professional ought to do with regards to whatever their profession is.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#142

Post by Double_a_92 »

good_vibes wrote: post #134
wallflower wrote: post #60

My personal opinion, like some of the others, is diversify out of tech. You can still work in tech, of course, and I suggest to stop putting all your hopes/desires/fears into the "tech" basket. Try investing in a non-tech project/venture like: woodworking, dancing, public speaking, rock climbing, organizing, run for office, volunteer, teach, coach sports, throw dinner parties, learn a spoken language, learn to draw,…

This really hits home because if you look at my post history, a little over a 100 days ago I was wanting to create something to compete with Facebook because I saw it as Big Brother. Since getting rejected by YC, I've been forced to reexamine myself and let a lot of delusions and habits go. I quit drinking, smoking, meat, sugar. I have $0 debt (credit card or student loan or car or home or medical). I've gotten rid o…

Don't live in extremes man... Just relax. If you want a beer drink one. If you want chocolate eat some. Just don't overdo it.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#143

Post by 52-6F-62 »

Double_a_92 wrote: post #142
good_vibes wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This really hits home because if you look at my post history, a little over a 100 days ago I was wanting to create something to compete with Facebook because I saw it as Big Brother. Since getting rejected by YC, I've been forced to reexamine myself and let a lot of delusions and habits go. I quit drinking, smoking, meat, sugar. I have $0 debt (credit card or student loan or car or home or medical). I've gotten rid o…

Don't live in extremes man... Just relax. If you want a beer drink one. If you want chocolate eat some. Just don't overdo it.

I'd like to second this, as its under appreciated by the public at large. So many failed New Years resolutions for improving oneself can be pinned to this point.

Anecdotally:

I've been trying to lose some weight, and one of the first things I moved to do was drop drinking (as most resources on weight loss will tell you to do). It was very tough to do because I love my beer. I found the process was making me miserable.

Sure if I leave the beer out of the equation my calorie deficit would grow, but including some beer still keeps me at a deficit regardless so that I still am losing 2-3 lbs a week, and very much happier all the while then if I was losing more and more quickly.

edit: except for the smoking. That's a slippery slope.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#145

Post by mattbrewsbytes »

hyperbovine wrote: post #64
hajak wrote: post #2

I would say it never goes away. I have built companies, angel invested, ran M&A. Still, I always think I am clueless. I am starting to view it more as a power. "You cannot learn what you already think you know". Having imposter's syndrome means I always will fight harder to get better.

What's really scary is when you realize that almost nobody, no matter how successful, knows what they are doing. We're all just making it up as we go.

I had an older, wiser worker relate to me this exactly. He was a line worker in a GM production facility and a while after working there realized his foreman just absolutely couldn't have a clue about what their job. He made some suggestions and soon enough was promoted to line foreman.

A while after that he started to realize that his supervisor just absolutely didn't have a clue with how to supervise the shifts, the lines, etc. And on up the mgmt chain, he slowly realized nobody really knew what they were doing.

I think this is especially true of management at all levels and most professional workers, aka knowledge workers. There really isn't a "book" or a how-to for this type of work. If you have some skills and knowledge of how to acquire more skills, you are good. Just don't be afraid to admit, at least to yourself, that you don't know something but then seek to learn whatever it is that you don't know.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#146

Post by daliwali »

Talking about overcoming "impostor syndrome" is a great way to humble-brag, because it makes the assumption that the person is already competent enough to feel inadequate. If you ask software developers to assess themselves, most will think they are above average. This leads to an echo chamber where only "competent" people reply, and the way that the question is phrased suggests this as well.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#147

Post by danesparza »

jancsika wrote: post #101
danesparza wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also: Be a mentor to somebody else. Nothing gets rid of impostor syndrome like, "Hey -- I can help you with that!"

I'd only suggest doing that if the person has explicitly requested mentorship.

:-) Of course. As a buddy of mine used to say, "How will you know they need help? They'll ask for it"

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#148

Post by spurlock »

- You can only build on strength.

- Staying humble helps.

- We're all in this together.

- Greatness is contributing to something bigger than yourself.

- Fulfillment is a myth. You will never be satisfied.

- If you are satisfied, remember it is temporary.

- You don't have to fix all your weaknesses, but if something is holding you back, investigate if it's worth fixing to propel yourself forward.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#149

Post by paulus_magnus2 »

Everyone starts their journey with limited skills and learns subsequently. Early imposter syndrome is not extraordinary.

However in a healthy team you get pats on your back from boss / colleagues and soon outgrow the syndrome. Persistent syndrome means there's something very wrong in team dynamic / boss. Change jobs until you find accepted and the syndrome will disappear.

Re: Ask HN: What ways have worked for you to overcome 'imposter syndrome'?

#150

Post by epicide »

timborden wrote: post #123
epicide wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That quote is fantastic. Definitely gonna check out the whole book. Another book that sounds similar is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck ( https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S ). I don't know exactly how it compares to The Gifts of Imperfection as I haven't read the latter. The former talks about how you aren't as special as you have been told and how that's not only perfectly okay, but really freeing. You learn t…

Thanks for the recommendation! ....+1 for the generous use of fuck

Haha you'll enjoy the book, then.
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