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Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

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Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#141

Post by eropple »

kafkaesq wrote: post #79

Interview puzzles are so hit-or-miss. No matter how many of them I solve, I always stutter when I'm faced with a new one. If the problem is new, it either "clicks" right away or I bomb the interview. No middle ground. It may helpful to consider that the current interview system is, literally, designed to make you fail. That is to say: not with 100% certainty -- and on some level, they want at least some of the candid…

Ordinarily I'd just upvote this, but (because it echoes parts of what my own post higher in the thread mentions) I want to call it out. These hiring practices are part of the fuck-you,-I'm-smarter culture that makes tech gross and lame. It is so important to realize that you are not the problem, it is, unless you choose to work to perpetuate that culture.

It literally is not your fault. As a reward for that realization, pay it forward and don't hurt other people.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#142

Post by raverbashing »

Oh, a "Big 4" rejected you. Are they the only companies that exist?

Oh you fail their stupid interview process? So what?

The opportunity you seek may be in a "Medium Many". Or in a "Startup Some". But it's harder to hear about them if you don't actively look for it

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#143

Post by drawkbox »

If it was your first interview in a while don't take it so hard. The interview game is broken and devs are rusty on their first couple if they haven't in a while. The real value in engineers/programmers is can you deliver a product and ship? If you can worry little, if you can't, start some on your own, gain some confidence.

If you can deliver, just practice up applying for smaller companies to get your interview game up. Never go to the interview with the company you want to work for first, get some reps in, worst case is you have a bunch of jobs offers to pick from and some leverage.

Look at it this way, you were good enough to get into one Big 4 and you can do it again. But your manager is right, stand your ground, you have to KNOW that you can do it to even start. Nice guys can be pushovers and get steamrolled in developer culture, stand your ground to actually be nice, don't just do as others want, do what is right for ship and the product. Sometimes you have to throw down in the ego driven game of development and ask for forgiveness later.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#144

Post by BuckRogers »

Just another POV. Be glad you actually have a job in your industry of choice. I've been trying to make a leap to a fulltime programmer for a while now, and failed some interviews. I'm not even doing what I want to anymore and my fear is that I can't even accomplish it at this point in my life. Everyone wants a damn genius or thinks they do, and I'm just a normal guy who enjoys programming.

You have fulltime, real dev experience. You won't have a problem getting another job, but it won't be overnight.

You're already set, you just don't realize it. I'm actually envious of you (in a healthy way). I'd probably spend more of your time watching out for that wife you have honestly, that raised an eyebrow for me. Without kids in the picture you can always easily bail.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#145

Post by richardw »

Are there resources you could use inside the company? E.g. a coach/therapist? I think they'd be super-aware of the stresses of working in the business and honestly it's the closest fastest way of getting some support that I can think of.

Just talking it out on a regular basis with someone who knows the pressure. You're not the only one at that company feeling like that.

If you have (in the past) thought yourself smart and capable and liked, then you can find your way back to that with a bit of help.

Once you have a bit of a better emotional/skills platform and more resilience, then you can choose if you want to stay or go, and you'll find you've strengthened your position for new jobs. You might also find that your environment is pretty good, once you're more able to handle the pressure and BS that it comes with.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#146

Post by mik3y »

kvanderd wrote: post #95
mik3y wrote: post #54

I worked for a "big 4" (Google) for many years, and now I lead the engineering team at a startup. I've interviewed many hundreds of people. And I've "been there" in anxiety about interviewing for something new. Let me make you a deal: call me up and I'll interview you, no "puzzles". Except instead of this being about a job with me, I'll give you feedback from the interview and any advice I can. You can reach me at mi…

Just want to acknowledge how productive/awesome this response is to a very vulnerable HN post.

Thanks! Can't edit my post, but didn't expect such a positive response, really cool to see others offering an ear as well.

OP's got a _lot_ going on here: fear of being stuck at a prestigious company; team/interpersonal struggles; the feeling of vulnerability from bombing an interview (which was also "the one" opportunity); possibly burnout; and the potentially very serious signs of depression. Thought I'd try to take a chance at demystifying some of the demons I know better, I'd probably learn a bit too.

Whether or not he or she reaches out, there are a lot of other great responses here, and I hope OP can at least feel less alone.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#147

Post by sreenidhibs »

johnschrom wrote: post #107
cachemiss wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Generally people are looking for a preferred solution, solving the problem, but not in the preferred way is usually not enough. This isn't good or anything (though, sometimes there's the really obvious super slow way, and its appropriate to ask for something better), its just the way it is. This is especially pronounced with junior interviewers, I've gotten dinged for missing capitalization on one variable in an othe…

Amen. I would give you gold if we were on Reddit.

+1

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#148

Post by sreejithr »

cachemiss wrote: post #63
akhilcacharya wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's -stupidly- rare for people to 'figure out' the question in an interview ...really? I've heard of people failing interviews at the Big4 because they solved the problem, but did it sub optimally.

Generally people are looking for a preferred solution, solving the problem, but not in the preferred way is usually not enough. This isn't good or anything (though, sometimes there's the really obvious super slow way, and its appropriate to ask for something better), its just the way it is. This is especially pronounced with junior interviewers, I've gotten dinged for missing capitalization on one variable in an othe…

> so when you take insecure nerds, and puff their egos up, this is what you get.

Gold right there.

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#149

Post by igauravsehrawat »

While most people are giving positive sugar coated advice. I would say do the right thing. Stand up for the right thing. If you submitted the PR, stand up for the correct thing and describe it to criticizers, take the feedback and loop over. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbow...

Cheers

Re: Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

#150

Post by mikekchar »

eropple wrote: post #49
daxorid wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

are culturally incentivized (...) to be desperate to win the approval of their peers by how bulging their foreheads are While I largely agree with your main thrust, I must take issue with this. Many of us (older generation perhaps?) were culturally incentivized to not exhibit any of our nerdiness, and were ostracized or worse for doing so. Many of us developed a "dumber" external persona and explicitly avoided demons…

Amongst non-nerds, I totally agree; lots of people slow-play it (and so do I) in polite company. But nerd among nerds? This may be true for you specifically, but early in my career I regularly got stomped by the old heads for reasons that in retrospect really do seem like "this might be different and I don't know it therefore CHARGE!". And today I am often constrained to shave a graybeard when I go talk to a new pros…

Things are changing a bit in the industry, but programming teams have historically been wolf packs. You have the alpha dominant one that withstands the challenges of the young up and coming pups. Sometimes the alpha needs to nip their heels to get them in line.

This shape can work well if you have a good alpha. It provides direction and confidence in the team. It can be a great antidote to team staffed entirely with prima donnas. When done well, it actually provides a safe place for people to learn and experiment because the alpha is the only one that takes political risks. On more democratic teams I've seen many junior/intermediate developers absolutely melt down when they suddenly discover that they aren't as good as they thought they were.

I thought this was an interesting set of anecdotes about dog roles: http://www.massachusettsdogtrainer.com/page11.php

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