121–130 of 135 posts
Also being a team-leader type manager I think is more cognitively demanding because you need to keep track and be able to understand what 5 or so other people are doing, while reporting up too.
Being a VPEngineering type is a completely different skillset. Less technical but lots of new skills to learn. You would be expected to make things excellent but with little guidance.
If that's the case, you need to work for a company that is growing, therefore, opening positions for management. You've mentioned you aren't even motivated to the interview process, so I can tell you for sure you aren't cut for it, at the moment. If it is your hearts utmost desire to become a manager, first you need to work on those thoughts.
Management is a completely different job from a software engineer. It definitely helps to have a lot of engineering knowledge for the context, but your day-to-day activities will be absolutely different from an IC. The emotional state that you've shared on your post really reminds me of an IC, that can likely perform their daily tasks, but won't be able to hold a team together, being lighthearted and caring, also talking about tough subjects with self-awareness.
I'd advise you getting a psychologist and go over and try to figure out why you haven't become a manager yet, and why do you believe you need it, then start working on becoming one.
I for instance, became a manager again after going through therapy and recovering from a big emotional problem (my mother was everything to me, and passed away, and I was a continent far away), it took years and only after that I could see myself having the mental space to deal with other people's problems and desires, which is the main activity you do as a manager.
Also read many books, participated in conferences, made connections, got inspired and so on. That eventually led me to lead a team.
I really doubt the old me could deal with the daily challenges I deal everyday, people dissatisfied, back-to-back meetings etc. I first had to clear up my mind, study to finally arrive in a situation where I could manage others.
Also, by working in tech you've probably also felt how different it is to be led by different people. Some people are ABSOLUTELLY GOOD, others are a pain to work with.
First start writing down and working on those qualities that makes up a good manager to work with. Copy them. Tell them you want to become like them, reach out to them if you no longer work in the same company and tell how they were so good and how you can learn with them.
People are typically very friendly on those requests, and if they see have inspired you in a way, they will be gladly help you and that will help you grow.
Also don't forget you don't need to do this overnight. There are people coding at 60 that are awesome.
FAANG companies also pay much more for senior developers than most directors make in smaller companies. You actually don't need to become a manager to make more money or have more recognition, if that's what you are looking for.
And to be honest, it is very likely that you are enough being just yourself, Today. Don't feel pressured about it. Managers aren't superior in any way, it is just a job, a task that is performed, just like goats climb mountains and birds fly.
Wish you success in your journey!
You seem to have some misguided ideas about management that you first need to get rid of. - Management isn't a "next step" for developers but an entirely different career path. You don't naturally progress into it, and no one owes it to you. It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch. - Like any other job title, "manager" isn't handed out based on seniority but skill. If you think i…
Really love this phrasing. It's so so true. It took me almost ten years to make the jump from when I decided its what I wanted to do (because at the time I was just a junior desktop support person). It has been worth it though.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Good managers don’t seek out the role for its own sake; Depends on what you mean by this, but I will disagree. I didn't naturally become a manager. I sought it out because I believed I could do it better than the managers I have. I believe I am a good manager - not a perfect one as I have made mistakes and I still have improvements to make. When I have left a couple of jobs to make the next step (team lead to manag…
I'm in the exact same position as you, I get positive feedback on my management style but I'll be honest: I am paranoid that it's just people engaging in "people-pleasing", after all: there's no value to frustrating or being overly honest to your manager. I think that's why I've had issues with management too, I've always seem them as doing a job that's different from mine, as in: we are the same level working on dif…
Its a journey, for sure!
Sounds like you really want out of your current situation. And "promoted to management" is the only exit you can see, without heavy financial penalties or social stigma. I don't get the sense that you have any actual interest in studying or doing management.
I want to be a manager as well, and I haven’t had any opportunities to become one. I’m often a go-to but I haven’t been able to go one rung up to management, either because there are already people with management experience so I get passed up, or I joined a team that recently got a new manager. Either way, I’m not seeing any opportunities and it’s extremely maddening. So if I can study my way into management, I’d lo…
You seem to have some misguided ideas about management that you first need to get rid of. - Management isn't a "next step" for developers but an entirely different career path. You don't naturally progress into it, and no one owes it to you. It takes a whole new skill set and lots of deliberate work to make the switch. - Like any other job title, "manager" isn't handed out based on seniority but skill. If you think i…
The truth is that people are promoted to management based on "people" skills and ass-kissing.
> younger folks are above me. It feels undignified, humiliating at times. I'm not sure becoming a manager would solve that, as there might still be younger people managing you. Even if you become CEO, shareholders and investors might be younger too. I think a better approach would be to discover first why it bothers you so to be managed by someone younger.
> why it bothers you so to be managed by someone younger. The idea that when you grow up you go up in rank. And if you have younger people who are above you, and you have not moved up at all, then you feel like you’re not performing well. I think this feeling is artificial and externally influenced. Some of us are made to do work. Others are made to oversee. They are both equal in rank. Just different set of skill.
Management isn’t a promotion, it’s a different job, and being “stuck” as an IC shouldn’t be a thing. There’s nothing wrong with staying on the IC track forever and getting promotions rather than changing to management. You say that there are no promotion opportunities, but have you talked to your EM about the gaps to the next IC level for you?
Management isn’t a promotion, it’s a different job, and being “stuck” as an IC shouldn’t be a thing. There’s nothing wrong with staying on the IC track forever and getting promotions rather than changing to management. You say that there are no promotion opportunities, but have you talked to your EM about the gaps to the next IC level for you?
This might help people sleep at night, but it's incorrect. Managers have more pay, more direct reports and more responsibility. It's the definition of a promotion.
If you are not a sycophant and a yes-man you will fail as a manager because you will be pushed out.
This whole industry is toxic, from hiring to constantly reinventing the wheel and to the daily work.