IMHO, harassment is only the tip of the problem. Team members should respect each other's right to pursuit of happiness. If you draw the line here, the MILF comment is so out of line, there is really no question about what to do, only how to do it.
Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
111–120 of 622 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#112is it really sexual harassment? He tried clumsily to make a move on her and she declined, if he tries again it's a red flag, but if he stop his behavior you have nothing to worry about
absolutely is. It's not a clumsy making a move. That would be "hey, do you want to go have dinner some time?" Calling someone a milf is not something ANYONE with any respect for women would ever do.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#113People in this thread asking about "whats wrong with calling someone a milf" really feed into the tech is sexist stereotype
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#114Fire him. Period. He'll do this to someone else who might not report it.
Anyone who calls a woman a milf to her face has NO respect for women, and will cause problems with women at the company in 1000 other small ways (and possibly big ways).
Be that guy that says he's not going to let this shit slide, and then actually follows through.
Of course the woman said she doesn't want to cause trouble... she's trying to cover her own ass to make sure that you're not going to get mad at her (yes, I'm sure it crossed her mind). She reported it to you for a reason. Because it was completely unacceptable.
Fire him. Fire him. Fire him.
And then explain to the rest of the company exactly why he was fired. And that you're not going to tolerate that behavior. You can leave out details of who and why, even white lie if there's only one woman on the team, that it was a friend or something...
If you work in a state without at-will employment, you might need to talk to a lawyer... hopefully your HR team can help you figure out the safe way to do it. But do it. Even if it's not safe. Do it because it's the RIGHT thing to do.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#115Not a lawyer. When the female employee says she doesn't want to cause trouble, it just means that, if you are going to do something about this situation, then you better own it. Make this a problem between you and the employee who acted inappropriately. i.e. if/when he demonstrates understandable reasons for acting the way he did, you don't turn this around on her.
That's the thing. This IS a problem that the employer has now.
Let me paint a hypothetical: Idiot salesmonkey learns that hitting on a colleague doesn't get him in trouble. So he hits on someone else. They have an immediate bad reaction (as you'd expect) and the shite hits the fan. During the ensuing nastiness it comes out that the salesmonkey hit on the employee, who reported it, and that nothing happened. Immediate escalation of nastiness ensues.
Not a lawyer, but I went through an MBA where our legal lecturer had a lot of these sorts of stories to tell.
OP HAS to do something. Do NOT ignore, even if the offended-against employee can handle it and doesn't want to cause a scene.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#116Lawyer lawyer lawyer LAWYER lawyer LAWYER . I think the consensus in the grown-up business world is "fire immediately for cause." I would bet substantial money that when you lawyer lawyer lawyer they will advise you to do that and document the heck out of it. The calculus is really, really simple: if you don't, then you will with probability approaching one get this incident or a similar incident cited during a threa…
> I think the consensus in the grown-up business world is "fire immediately for cause." Not in my experience, and it's not the law (as taught in the myriad of training courses I've endured over the years). The man should have an opportunity to learn from this mistake, then be fired when he proves incapable of learning. Providing the warning and training is enough to legally cover the company's ass if the guy screws u…
It's not a mistake. He didn't leave the server room door open. He called her a MILF.... TO HER FACE.
He's not 12 (I assume). If he hasn't learned to be respectful to women before now, it's not this guy's job to teach him.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#117Not a lawyer. When the female employee says she doesn't want to cause trouble, it just means that, if you are going to do something about this situation, then you better own it. Make this a problem between you and the employee who acted inappropriately. i.e. if/when he demonstrates understandable reasons for acting the way he did, you don't turn this around on her.
Respectfully, that's not the employee's decision to make.
your parent is suggesting a pappabear approach, "i heard what you said, and although she might not have a problem with what you did, I do"
it protects her from trouble, and frames the dispute as between the founder and newhire.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#118Please get someone from HR involved. Do not immediately fire the employee as this could lead to severe financial problems for you. Despite the peasant with pitchforks in this comment section, wrongful termination / paying unemployment / litigation, etc. is also something you may want to avoid. This employee of yours may not be aware of the policy or the law and is possibly entitled to progressive disciplinary action…
Fire him, even if there are financial consequences to you. It's the right thing to do. Sure, do it right and follow the law as best as possible... but do it.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#119Not a lawyer. When the female employee says she doesn't want to cause trouble, it just means that, if you are going to do something about this situation, then you better own it. Make this a problem between you and the employee who acted inappropriately. i.e. if/when he demonstrates understandable reasons for acting the way he did, you don't turn this around on her.
That's the thing. This IS a problem that the employer has now. Let me paint a hypothetical: Idiot salesmonkey learns that hitting on a colleague doesn't get him in trouble. So he hits on someone else. They have an immediate bad reaction (as you'd expect) and the shite hits the fan. During the ensuing nastiness it comes out that the salesmonkey hit on the employee, who reported it, and that nothing happened. Immediate…
the suggestion was to OWN it not IGNORE it.
Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?
#120Please get someone from HR involved. Do not immediately fire the employee as this could lead to severe financial problems for you. Despite the peasant with pitchforks in this comment section, wrongful termination / paying unemployment / litigation, etc. is also something you may want to avoid. This employee of yours may not be aware of the policy or the law and is possibly entitled to progressive disciplinary action…
Most employment contracts allow for a probationary period during which the contract can just be cancelled. It sounds like this was a new employee so it may well be the case.
I believe sexual harassment is considered gross misconduct, and that can be grounds for immediate termination regardless.
A good lawyer would be able to advise.