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Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

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Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#101

As tired as this cliche is, I have to ask if you workout. I found that lifting or intense cardio helps me move out of my funks. When I'm suffering through an intense workout I don't think about anything else. When I finish the workout, I can be so exhausted that I pass out and go to sleep. that in itself is a blessing. Lastly, so much of stress is self-imposed. You are where you are, and whatever plans you have, are…

Working out and improving your strength can also give you a feeling of accomplishment, rightfully held, too, when there isn't any other source of that.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#102
This is not work burnout my friend this is something far more caused by all you have gone through. I am assuming the "medical professional" you mentioned is some sort of mental health counselor, and is so that is great, if not definitely find one. In addition you may want to look into some sort of group therapy session. Speaking with people who have gone through what you have (most of us on this thread have not) is going to go a long way towards getting you the advice you need. On top of that human contact with those that have been through something similar is likely going to be helpful.

I recommend googling support groups in your area.

All the best.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#103
Balance is of course important. But purpose is just as important. We must have good and useful reasons for everything we do. Anxiety and pain are just indicators that something is off balance or being done without good purpose and reason. The question we must all ask ourselves is, what am I even here for? Why am I alive today? What is my purpose? Whatever conclusion we come to, everything in our lives must flow from that purpose of existence. And when things don't seem to line up or add up, then we have to start back at square one and ask ourselves if our estimation of our purpose was wrong, and use the new hard earned life experience to try to figure it out all over again, and make everything flow from that, and keep repeating until we finally have a life without these internal alarms going off.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#106
Hi

Shit sucks sometimes. It's not a nice feeling when you're constantly trying to hold yourself together. You convince yourself you're doing all right, because you're hanging on, but you have no energy to develop yourself or do new things, and you're slowly sinking into a hole that becomes ever more difficult to climb out of. After a while, even basic things take so much energy that it becomes a daily struggle to keep up with laundry, cooking, cleaning.

How do you climb out of that hole? I don't know. I think there's no easy solution. But talking helps. I don't have any answers for you, but if you just want to talk with someone who understands what you're going through, you can find my contact info in my profile.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#107
First off, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Having to go through one of those events would be traumatic enough, so it is difficult to imagine how you must feel.

I am not trained in anyway to do diagnostics. Like others answering your question I would hazard a guess though that you may be going through something of a more serious nature than simply burnout.

As someone who experienced burnout personally just last year as well as a cancer diagnostic in my partner alongside that, I can't stress it enough how important it is to seek professional outside help in these situations. Especially in a case involving sexual trauma. You don't want that gnawing at the back of your mind, unresolved for years.

Psychologists are trained to help people cope with, process, and get through what you are experiencing. But they can't help you unless you reach out to them. And know that there is no shame in asking for help. We all have done it, whether we admit to it or not.

My experience was an eye opener. Simply the discussion, with a neutral party did wonders for me. I was also prescribed any kind of exercise where my heart rate would go up and, more importantly, involved deep rapid breathing. There are bio-feedback loops involved there that help remedy some of the depressive symptoms..

Also know that this kind of state can take time to heal from. It has been 5 months for me and just now do I feel myself coming together as the person I was before.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#108
Hey... PTSD is not something u can just walk away from. I was married to a girl who suffered sexual assault/ptsd before we met.... Its one of those conditions that will evolve with you and it will effect you in waves as well as via a steady undertone of anxiety.

I recommend you really focus on your healing journey. Its not something you can ignore. If you need someone random to talk to about about this with, send me an email.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#109

Not that it's important making this distinction, but what you're describing doesn't sound like occupational burnout; you've listed significant trauma that are only exacerbating your work-related stress, and I'm really sorry you're going through this! First, I would agree with @codingslave in that you SHOULD NOT quit your job, if you can help it. Let me explain: Work provides important scaffolding when you are in a ru…

> First, I would agree with @codingslave in that you SHOULD NOT quit your job

I agree with this. There was a period of several years when I was suffering from mysterious medical issues that made functioning at work very difficult. Fortunately, I had a therapist at the time. At times I told my therapist that maybe I should go on medical disability.

My therapist advised that I should under no circumstances go on long-term disability. That if I did, I would likely end up being on medical disability for the rest of my life, and likely sit around being depressed forever.

Eventually, the mysterious medical issues went away, and I had managed to keep my job and sanity in the meantime.

I'm sorry that that OP has been going through so much. I know how rough this type of thing is, and it's truly hell on earth. What's always worked for me is to just fake it til you make it. Take everything one day at a time. Work towards getting your life to where you want it to be when you have the wherewithal. Do things that you find to be fun when you can. Eventually, a day comes when things are not so shitty anymore, and when that day comes, you'll be happy that you persevered.

Re: Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

#110
Take a long shower. Get a full night sleep. Take a sabbatical for as long as you need. Relax until you're bored. Then do whatever gives you joy. Then figure out if its your work (that is line of work etc), working conditions or something else that lead to your burn out. Make a plan to guardrail against it.

Personally for me, I need to take at least 1 personal day / 3 day weekend every month otherwise I start hating my work. I also need to take at least a week on a relaxing vacation (not sightseeing / running around doing stuff for a week!!) about every 6-8 months. I also try to work on _my_ schedule the best I can. I like to work from about 8am to 2pm and then some amount between 10pm-2am; for whatever reason those are my best working hours. Take as much time as you can to learn to listen to your body because I really think you can catch burnout before it reaches meltdown. I haven't had a proper burnout since 2016. Best of luck my friend.

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