Goodbye?

I'm at a crossroad. I either kill myself or I find some kind of way out of here. No matter the choice, thank you HN. So far, you've been the cornerstone of my life.

Don't kill yourself.

Get in contact with someone: http://www.befrienders.org/need-to-talk

And if you feel like it tell us what's up.

If it all doesn't matter anymore anyway, then you got nothing to lose. Find (psychedelic) shrooms somewhere, eat a portion, and reconsider your choice after your trip.

It saved my life.

Think about your family and friends

I've been through some rough times and luckily made through (with lots of help).

The general feeling afterwards was that my perception of reality had been totally limited to the issues in front of me, and that life was bigger than just that.

For me, it's a process of learning to distrust my negative emotions. Afterwards they always seem unfounded.

I don't know anything but your situation but, based on my own experience and that of others, my advice is to take it easy, slow down and dial back your expectations about whatever is that you have/had high expectations. That will clear your mind and you'll be able to see better soon.

There is a practical exercise I do while driving. As almost everybody else, I don't like to stay behind slow/unsure drivers and that gets me really stressed. While I'm stressed, I try to think "I do not want to be in front of this driver, the few seconds this will get me will not be worth the amount of trouble I'm having (or will have)." I'm essentially trying to remove that desire from the situation, then everything is okay and life moves on.

Relax, take it easy, it'll pass and you'll learn. My best regards.