Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
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Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#2"To Fall in Love with Anyone, Stare Into Their Eyes for 4 Minutes"
I hate business models that work by wasting your time. It's not a bad article though.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#3This is sophistry. She was already attracted to him (here,
I use it in the sense primarily of "willing to go out on a date with him") before they started. I don't see any mention of "to build attraction, do this", and intimacy will smother their boundaries and their relationship without attraction.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#4I'm just finishing up All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks. In it, she talks about love as an action.
She frequently quotes Erich Fromm's The Art of Loving, which seems good as well.
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_About_Love:_New_Visions
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#5I harvested the questions out of the PDF.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#6This is sophistry. She was already attracted to him (here, I use it in the sense primarily of "willing to go out on a date with him") before they started. I don't see any mention of "to build attraction, do this", and intimacy will smother their boundaries and their relationship without attraction.
Your simple dismissal seems naive. She gives you the boundaries of her "experiment" and is explicit about what she's already bringing to the table. It's an exposé on the experiment itself coupled with an interesting and touching personal experience.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#7This is sophistry. She was already attracted to him (here, I use it in the sense primarily of "willing to go out on a date with him") before they started. I don't see any mention of "to build attraction, do this", and intimacy will smother their boundaries and their relationship without attraction.
The method the article is very similar in some dimensions to psychotherapy.It's very common that one side falls in love with other on the course of psychological therapy.For example "Some studies have reported that 95 percent of male therapists and 76 percent of female therapists admit that they felt sexual feelings toward their patients"[1].
So i wouldn't be so fast to rule this out.
As a counterpoint, in the original Aron study[2] the researchers describe circumstances that it works less well, for example, when people have an avoidant/dismissive personality.
[1]http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2921238/
[2]http://www.stafforini.com/txt/Aron%20et%20al%20-%20The%20exp...
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#8This is sophistry. She was already attracted to him (here, I use it in the sense primarily of "willing to go out on a date with him") before they started. I don't see any mention of "to build attraction, do this", and intimacy will smother their boundaries and their relationship without attraction.
> Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening.
Her story is just an illustration to the research paper she linked to. Please stay away from commenting if you didn't read the article.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#9This is sophistry. She was already attracted to him (here, I use it in the sense primarily of "willing to go out on a date with him") before they started. I don't see any mention of "to build attraction, do this", and intimacy will smother their boundaries and their relationship without attraction.
> Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening. Her story is just an illustration to the research paper she linked to. Please stay away from commenting if you…
I did read the article, and that disclaimer, which she was correct to include, is inimical to the linkbaity title. OTOH, I may just be used to dealing with avoidant personalities, because I can't say I've had nearly the same results this woman has had.
Re: Applying an experimental procedure to fall in love
#10Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab. Second, we weren’t strangers. Not only that, but I see now that one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening. Her story is just an illustration to the research paper she linked to. Please stay away from commenting if you…
I did read the article, and that disclaimer, which she was correct to include, is inimical to the linkbaity title. OTOH, I may just be used to dealing with avoidant personalities, because I can't say I've had nearly the same results this woman has had.
Periodical writers do not as a general rule make up their own titles. Your comment painted the whole article as "sophistry". Don't move the goalposts.