How to Build Willpower for the Weak

I don't know how to define "willpower" so I found the initial thesis of his article off-putting.

However, Mr. Adams then appears to go into how he manages broad terms that are vague (like willpower) by structuring that term around concrete things like the dopamine rush he gets by being alone with his thoughts and treats the "willpower" to work out as a package deal that includes a vague term with a specific event.

Pretty cool little experience article that appears to give a little indication of how he manages things he thinks he should do, with things he knows he will do anyways to bundle up the positive reinforcement.

Something I've yet to see explored is the difference between negative and positive willpower. For example, I find it very difficult to motivate myself to do something I don't want to do, and easy to procrastinate. But it is relatively easy for me to have the willpower not to do something that I do want to do.

On the other hand, many people seem to have the opposite problem; they find it relatively easy to do things that are unpleasant, but difficult to restrain themselves from indulging in the things that they enjoy.

Of course, you can have a mix of both problems, and it might vary based on what makes the activity unpleasant or pleasant. If something is physically addictive, then someone with strong restraint might find an exception there. And if a task is stressful or painful rather than merely cumbersome or boring, someone with strong proactive willpower might still have difficulty with it.

But I think it's worth investigating because it seems plausible that these are entirely different problems conflated by language. And it seems likely that totally different strategies would be needed for managing them.

No, that's not the point at all. If it reads as condescending, you didn't pick up on the last few sentences well enough.

I've done plenty of stuff that I regret, some of it worse than what I'm sure the average person has done.

This is not a completely unique situation, but it can feel very unique. I suppose it's like being gay or something, in that, until you realize there are others like you, you feel like there is nobody like you.

For me, I have similar difficulty with observing relationships, whether love, marriage, business, or other. I see people getting into relationships and thinking, "What the heck are they thinking, can't they see what's going to happen a mile away?" But when someone gets hitched in one of these relationships, whether dating, marriage, or business, how can you say anything other than congratulations without everyone labeling you a total jerk? And because I go overboard thinking of all those things from a mile away, I usually take very few risks in relationships at all (again, all encompassing including love and business). http://xkcd.com/439/

Delayed gratification is often cited as an important variable for predicting future success of people. That in turn speaks to level of willpower. I am not saying I am good at it, as I know I am not (though it's quite easy for me to avoid stupid relationship decisions).

Having good willpower and good delayed gratification capability is supposed to be good for one's future. Just make sure that you don't let the good quality of willpower enable you to rationalize yourself into being gunshy so that you don't do anything at all. I am still learning that.

I realize that having willpower to keep your integrity and avoiding risks are two subjects not necessarily related. So sorry if I made the turn go even farther off-road.