Why current social technologies might be keeping us from truly connecting

whoa, this is exactly the motivation behind a current project (just posted a ShowHN thread actually!), centered around collaborative time capsules. One criticism we've come up against when we tell people we're interested in building an experience around social time capsules is that it's not consuming or addictive.

I'm optimistic in thinking that social services make it easier to connect, but I'm not sure many are designed primarily for true, intimate connections. A saying I do like though is that "Facebook is only as good as your friends list," so maybe at the end of the day it's still up to us as individuals to put forth the effort in creating meaning.

I am very worried about this actually...

Today I was thinking about it, also about distractions, wasted time, and not enough time really idle.

I noticed that recently I am always using my smartphone, to read news, HN, Facebook or exchange messages...

Yet, my productivity is not good as I want, I manage to get bored on the internet, and the news don't really add anything useful on my life.

And regarding social connections specifically, the only person I see is my SO, the last time I visited a friend is about 10 months.

And the last time I spend more than one day with a friend, is about 10 years ago.

Today, after thinking about all this, I tried to not read news... It was really, really, really hard, and only lasted well for about 4 hours.

Then when I was going to drink some coffee, I forgot my cellphone, and as I sat on the table and tried to grab it, I felt VERY anxious and weird.

And I don't remember this happening in 2011 (when I still owned a internet-less "dumbphone").

I am deeply worried, and I dunno what to do, I want to be able to "waste" time idle, to let my mind think about interesting things, I already have a very vast amount of knowledge (since I learned to read at age of 3 I became a avid reader, my hobby in childhood was read paperback encyclopedias and dictionaries, also I could read popular scientific magazines in one day or two), but I feel I cannot do anything about it, because I am 100% of the time busy, when I am not working I am on Facebook, or cellphone messages, or some news site, or a forum... I am thus with my brain busy so much that there is no time to come up with something new, even work-related ideas usually I have when walking home (I don't dare flashing a smartphone here in Brazil, that is a quick way to get killed) or when I am using the shower (for obvious reasons, I cannot use a smartphone while on the shower).

I don't use social networks (unless you consider HN & reddit) but I think this article is way off the mark. This is especially obvious in immigrant communities where families in different countries exchange photos through facebook. My mom grew up in a small village in India and now talks to her elementary school friend online... thats pretty cool!

The author's argument seems to be "facebook is not a substitute for real social interaction", to which I can only say "duh!". I don't know a single person making that claim.

There's a lot of potential gripes with facebook, but I think the author got started with a clunky analogy and tried to make the article fit it.

This link is an artificial construct designed to provide the superficial result of a real article.

I have a friend who posts to Facebook several times per day about where they are and what they're doing. Only a few years ago, this person used to be my closest friend. Now, we are distant, and I feel this Facebook usage is part of that. I am under the impression that this person feels their social needs met, and their social 'obligations' discharged, by regular status updates. They are 'connecting' to everyone they know continuously. Meanwhile, I feel I hardly know them anymore. But I know exactly where they are and what they are doing at any given moment. This person has also told me that they feel they have become friends with certain people they only communicate with on Facebook. That doesn't seem like a real friendship to me. I should add that all of this communication is 'public' in that it is all visible to all the people in these friend circles. That too seems strange to me. How many personal things will someone say in such mixed company? And, indeed, the communication seems far more banal and superficial than what I am used to. It is almost painful to read.

My friend feels very differently on the subject, and that itself is part of the reason for our drifting apart.