Why Developing Serious Relationships in Your 20s Matters

If you view it as a deadline item to tick off a list, is it really a relationship?

> It’s not a question of whether each of these things will happen; it’s a question of when.

Don't like how she comes off as "super relationship expert full of wisdom" here. I don't care how many relationships she's had, or how old she is, not all relationships are created equal, and these things she calls "inevitabilities", while certainly common, are not inevitable. Being in a relationship with that mindset could just turn it into a self-fulling prophesy.

As just one easy example, you don't have to have children, so her comment about kids doesn't apply to any couple that decides not to have kids.

I don't follow.

> it's another to offer life advice based on what one perceives to be the norm.

But isn't that the case when anyone gives life advice? Everyone has their own own perceptions of norms.

I chose not to move out to the Valley so I could stay in a great relationship, and it has proved to be an extremely good decision. My life would not be nearly as enriched as it is if all I did was work, and had I moved there I too probably would have fallen into the trap of putting career above everything else. My bank account isn't quite as fat as it could be had I moved there, but then again I pay half the rent--less, actually--and spend less on pretty much everything else as well, not to mention I have no state income tax, and I still get a pretty high salary.

That said, I understand everybody is different. Although I will say that I too thought I was somebody who didn't need a relationship. I changed my mind when I fell into a great one and saw first hand what it had to offer.

There's also a quality to young love that I don't think you could ever find once you hit middle age. At the risk of sounding really shallow, young people are much more beautiful on average. But it's not just that. The experience of growing old with someone is considerably different from meeting someone when you've both already aged a good amount. These are experiences that you will never be able to have if you put them off for too long. The same cannot be said of work.