Most lives are lived by default

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything.

But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on this quest to find the best city to live in. You find a good one, and you're not unhappy. But you'll always have that doubt: "What if I had quested just a little more? Would I have found an even better city?" And that'll bum you out. It becomes the anxiety of "what if".

Happiness is being content with the moment you're in. Having good health, a not-empty stomach, and a roof over your head is already a big step above a significant portion of the world's population. Now this doesn't mean you have to become a mindless lump, barely moving from the couch and uninterested in even the slightest change; but it's a suggestion that perhaps learning to be happy with what you have, where you are, and with what interests you, is, in the long run, precisely what will make you happy.

i've said this before (sorry), but cockburn, in cooperative game, describes shu ha ri - http://alistair.cockburn.us/Shu+Ha+Ri - as three stages of mastering something: following, detaching and fluent.

anyway, this post is so second stage it makes me wince.

I agree. This blog post is a typical young adult way of looking at the world. Always chasing the new best way to live. Whether that is the best city, the best neighborhood, best car, best phone, best career, best company.

This does not lead to happiness. Happiness is internal.

If you become happy first from examining yourself internally, then you will naturally make decisions that will lead you to your goals.

For example, if by looking inward and realizing that your goal for the next few years is to become a successful musician, you will probably gravitate to one of the major musical cities, LA, New York or Nashville.

However, if you realize that being a family man and creating a healthy family is your real goal, then having a decent job in a nice suburb is probably where you will end up.

I definitely agree. As a recent graduate, I was constantly plagued with thoughts like that. "Did I choose the right company? Area?" etc.

It all comes down to, as you've alluded to, having perspective. I set a goal early in my undergraduate career to be in the very position I'm in today: working for a stable company with a lot of job security, and the ability to use it as a stepping stone in the event I'd like to take on more risk. It's when I remembered the fact that I set that goal and accomplished it fully that I regained the perspective that while the grass may be greener, my grass is already as green as I had always wanted it.

Please don't be afraid to keep posting that link, it's awesome :-)