Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
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Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#2> That entire group of middle-aged people, who made up the adult world when my father was a child, is gone.
That really got me. How can I bring these people, this "adult world" forward in time as a gift to my children?
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#3This essay was in part an inspiration for my (much more upbeat) essay which was on here yesterday https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46452763, and I linked it at the end, but I thought it deserved a submission on its own.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#4[deleted]
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#5While I understand and empathize with what this article is getting at ("If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children."), I strongly disagree. I think people should have kids when they are ready. Make an assessment to the best of their ability when exactly that time has arrived. Then, don't dwell on it further. Especially don't blog about it. There are no counterfactuals, this kind of reflection can only serve to make us miserable.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#6> But this idea of certainty is a sham, a distraction, something to turn your attention away from the only truly certain thing, which is that your time will run out.
I hard disagree with this entire blog post. What an incredibly depressing, judgmental, and self-centered way to live life. It doesn't matter when you do things as long as you are satisfied with the results.
You should focus more on deeply appreciating all possible results life has to offer than making any particular decision. This is how you find certainty. You must have imagination and see how things would change even if, for better or worse, most of those things never come true. As a matter of fact, none of them will except for the ones you choose. You must always be visualizing what comes next, or else of course you'd be lost and scared. Everything single second of your life is compromises before you even realize you're making them, and there are no right answers. If you can't handle that, you'll never feel happy.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#7I have super-bad genetics. Not so bad that I have an entirely terrible life, but bad enough that I wouldn't wish them on a child. I know they would hate me, since I am aware of how bad my genetics are.
People who have children think having children is the right choice, generally. They have to, to find meaning in all of the work of having and raising a child. That's understandable. But it is by no means the right choice for everyone.
I had a lousy childhood -- not just because of my genetics. There's no license, no mandatory training for having a child. You can just have one. Many parents are not qualified, by any measure. This keeps therapists well-employed.
Only have a child if you would like to be that child. Only have a child if you feel competent, and able, and certain that when they are an adult they will not resent you -- yes, it's natural to have some resentment for your parents, but this is not the sort of resentment I am talking about.
Do not UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES have a child if you're just looking for 'legacy'. Write a book. Give to charity. But this is a terrible reason to have a child! Don't.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#8I have super-bad genetics. Not so bad that I have an entirely terrible life, but bad enough that I wouldn't wish them on a child. I know they would hate me, since I am aware of how bad my genetics are. People who have children think having children is the right choice, generally. They have to, to find meaning in all of the work of having and raising a child. That's understandable. But it is by no means the right choi…
> Only have a child if you feel… certain that when they are an adult they will not resent you.
Resenting one’s parents, even like, a really really lot, is a small price indeed to pay to be alive. The other option is to not exist.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#9While I understand and empathize with what this article is getting at ("If you intend to have children, but you don’t intend to have them just yet, you are not banking extra years as a person who is still too young to have children. You are subtracting years from the time you will share the world with your children."), I strongly disagree. I think people should have kids when they are ready. Make an assessment to the…
I think most great parents didn't feel ready, and in some sense not feeling ready is evidence of the kind of conscientiousness that makes you a great parent. I think it is a valuable service to push people who want kids but aren't sure when to have them to have them earlier than they otherwise would. You never know how difficult it will be for you until you start trying.
Re: Real Biological Clock Is You're Going to Die (2018)
#10I have super-bad genetics. Not so bad that I have an entirely terrible life, but bad enough that I wouldn't wish them on a child. I know they would hate me, since I am aware of how bad my genetics are. People who have children think having children is the right choice, generally. They have to, to find meaning in all of the work of having and raising a child. That's understandable. But it is by no means the right choi…
> Only have a child if you feel… certain that when they are an adult they will not resent you. Resenting one’s parents, even like, a really really lot, is a small price indeed to pay to be alive . The other option is to not exist.
How can I not exist if I don't even exist?