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My Time Working at Stripe

jondlm.github.io

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Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#3

Post by hu3 »

> Still more time passed and then came the depression. I found myself increasingly demotivated in all aspects of my life. I could hardly even muster the energy to play video games (my usual haunt). Some evenings I would literally sit and stare at a wall. My sleep went to shit.

I'm sorry for that. I went through something similar and I managed to bounce back up but it took longer than I anticipated. Years, not months.

Be gentle with yourself and forgive yourself.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#6

Post by arcticbull »

Big tech is very much a function of your team and manager. Any job is a function first of your manager, second of your team, third of your ability and fourth of your project. I always select teams in that way, within a company and outside, and this has been incredibly helpful.

Stripe is a great place to work in some ways but judging from the writeup they had a ton of context switching preventing their productivity and the needs of the team didn’t align with what they did best. I’ve seen this feedback many times in many jobs.

I’ve been there myself! No doubt this person will find something exciting in no time.

Apropos of nothing as interviewers we do not put any weight on your submitting solutions after the window closes because we have to evaluate candidates consistently for business and legal reasons. We can’t give one person extra time because that’s not applying a consistent bar. Smaller companies may be more flexible but big tech won’t be. On the plus side big tech knows interviews are often a function of luck and setting and will generally always invite you to apply again without prejudice a few months later.

Being in a position to recover by getting bored and hacking on stuff you’re passionate about without pressure is something we’re really lucky to have, and I always try to do this between jobs.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#7

Post by silisili »

Well written.

The one thing that immediately pissed me off was you doing something awesome, then having management attack you for reason X, where X attacks everything but the results. The reason never really matters, the real reason is that you threatened them in some manner and they need to justify their job.

Honestly, I would have just quit at that point. You're a saint for staying any longer.

This sounds like an absolutely terrible company to work for.

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#8

Post by calmbonsai »

Sleep is a definite signal. If you've eliminated diet, medication, and personal relationships (tough one) as causes, you're left with professional obligations.

Note too that "chronic fatigue" is NOT "lack of sleep".

The brain fog is the net resultant of the body being in a constant "fight or flight" mode for too long. Psychologically, you've been doing WWI "trench warfare".

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#9

Post by olivermuty »

What you are experiencing is the symptom of working in a large company where no matter how well you perform, you can not significantly move the needle yourself.

Coupled with the fact that, as you yourself pointed out, there is a literal endless amount of work to do, forever. This is also due to the nature of the company being so big.

All companies always has work to do, and no one is ever «done», but in a giga-enterprise all meaningful deadlines and deliveries sort of tangentially rounds down to zero in terms of impact.

I almost burned out from this myself working in Microsoft. I was succeeding in my work by most metrics, but I am motivated more by my work being MEANINGFUL and having impact more than anything. That is almost impossible to achieve in any large enough company.

Jumped off to be a startup CTO and life started smiling again instantly.

Take time away from work, but not too much time. Comments such as «it takes years» can be true if you have ground yourself down to a nub, but trying (and being ok with failing) to do some work that lets you feel like you mean something and contribute back to society is an understated and important part of the healing process.

Good luck!

Re: My Time Working at Stripe

#10

Post by calmbonsai »

hu3 wrote: post #3

> Still more time passed and then came the depression. I found myself increasingly demotivated in all aspects of my life. I could hardly even muster the energy to play video games (my usual haunt). Some evenings I would literally sit and stare at a wall. My sleep went to shit. I'm sorry for that. I went through something similar and I managed to bounce back up but it took longer than I anticipated. Years, not months.…

Amen. As much as it sucks in this culture atm, give yourself, at the very least, quarterly goalposts.
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