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Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

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Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#1

Post by anxious_ape »

New grad here. 4 months ago I began my first full time job at Amazon - was an RO after 2 successful internships.

Lately, I've been battling a huge uptick in anxiety, both in and outside of work. I feel like I can't interact with any of my colleagues without masking an internal panic. I feel like my company sees me not as a human but as a set of metrics to be judged and compared against. I feel my humanity is sucked away under the guise of corporate kool-aid principals such as "Customer Obsession". I feel precarious knowing any health related issues may be used against me. I shutter at the concept of on-call.

It's not so much the mental rumination that puts me over the edge, but the fact that the stress has spilled over into physical pains. I have a history of psychosomatic pain, and I have recently begun to experience this again.

How bad does it look to quit this job after just 4 months? As a new grad, I have no work history outside of this, and I fear it will be a major blow to my job prospects.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#2

Post by al_borland »

It's a lot easier to find a new job when you already have a job. If you feel you need to leave, it would probably be best to hold on to the job until you find something new (probably at a smaller company), so you don't need to worry about explaining why you have no history or why you were only there 4 months.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#3

Post by tjex »

There's no need to think badly of this. You're recognising that that culture and workload is unhealthy for your body and mind, and you're feeling like leaving. That's a good thing. It's no secret that working at Amazon has this effect on people. You don't have to site particular reasons why you wanted to leave. Just find a company that you would like to work at, and explain that you prefer their product / team / atmosphere / conditions / more (which will be true).

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#5

Post by downrightmike »

When in a similar situation, I went to therapy, which helps. Also exercise, I find a lousy feeling builds up when I don't exercise and magically goes away when I do. Also eat right, you have to feed your gut properly or it will affect your brain. Use the healthcare to take care of yourself. You'll need coping mechanisms where ever you go. I think life is just about figuring out those coping mechanisms as you go.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#6

Post by ejdweck »

Unconventional advice but I think if your mental health is at the point where you're posting on an internet forum asking this, you should probably do what you can to exit the situation.

If your financial situation permits it, it probably makes sense to walk away before your health and/or relationships deteriorate further.

If your financial situation does not permit exiting, I'd advise you to spend all of your non work energy in changing your situation. You can do it. You really can. Getting into Amazon is not easy, there plenty of places that would be ecstatic to hire you, but the hard part is finding them. That part is kind of like dating. Its definitely about fit - we are all human after all and trying to decide if we can work together.

Easiest way to explain this situation to future employers in my opinion would be "I had a health issue that I needed to resolve, but it is now completely resolved" would probably be enough to get me as an interviewer to be satisified on any gap in employment etc. People can tell when you lie, so this would be a good strategy IMO as it is truthful.

Best of luck and remember this will pass. You will figure this out.

Rooting for you friend.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#7

Post by sergiotapia »

You're a fresh graduate, bust your ass work hard, save up for your house. Then save up and invest 20% at $INDEX_OF_CHOICE! At Amazon level income you can do that in 2 years and pay off your house outright! Retire your parents!

Recognize you're in a position so many people and even you a year ago would kill to be in.

If you were say 30 the calculus is different, but at 20? Hell yeah crush it and grind dude! 3 years and you're SET.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#8

Post by anxious_ape »

ejdweck wrote: post #6

Unconventional advice but I think if your mental health is at the point where you're posting on an internet forum asking this, you should probably do what you can to exit the situation. If your financial situation permits it, it probably makes sense to walk away before your health and/or relationships deteriorate further. If your financial situation does not permit exiting, I'd advise you to spend all of your non wor…

Finances are not an issue. I'm very lucky to have supportive parents.

> plenty of places that would be ecstatic to hire you, but the hard part is finding them

This was my experience prior to getting my RO after graduating. I think part of why the stakes feel high is just the market in general seems mostly uninterested in new grads.

I suppose I will need to find my niche in the industry. I don't care if I halve my salary. I don't care about company brand name. Amazon was more less incidental.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#9

Post by anxious_ape »

downrightmike wrote: post #5

When in a similar situation, I went to therapy, which helps. Also exercise, I find a lousy feeling builds up when I don't exercise and magically goes away when I do. Also eat right, you have to feed your gut properly or it will affect your brain. Use the healthcare to take care of yourself. You'll need coping mechanisms where ever you go. I think life is just about figuring out those coping mechanisms as you go.

Appreciate the advice.

I'm doing most of those things.

My only use of healthcare has been at the ER for chest pains - turned out to be anxiety. Scheduled months ago for a new PCP after moving cross-country and my appointment is still 2 months out.

Re: Mental health in shambles – should I quit?

#10

Post by ejdweck »

anxious_ape wrote: post #8
ejdweck wrote: post #6

Unconventional advice but I think if your mental health is at the point where you're posting on an internet forum asking this, you should probably do what you can to exit the situation. If your financial situation permits it, it probably makes sense to walk away before your health and/or relationships deteriorate further. If your financial situation does not permit exiting, I'd advise you to spend all of your non wor…

Finances are not an issue. I'm very lucky to have supportive parents. > plenty of places that would be ecstatic to hire you, but the hard part is finding them This was my experience prior to getting my RO after graduating. I think part of why the stakes feel high is just the market in general seems mostly uninterested in new grads. I suppose I will need to find my niche in the industry. I don't care if I halve my sal…

I think a question only you can answer is will your stress fade away if you quit this job? Usually the answer is no - the mind is a tricky thing - it can find something new to latch onto to cause you feelings of anxiety.

Before you quit, try really hard to enter a different headspace then you're in now and answer this question for yourself.

When I was doing my undergrad, I called my dad extremely distraught as I really believed I was going to get an F in a class for my major. He gave me what I thought at the time was irritating advice, but looking back on it he was right. He told me "Just fail the class if you have too, if you work in X or as a cashier at a grocery store I promise you'll have stress. You've put in a lot of time already, might as well see what happens here".

All this said, if you're literally having physical health issues, you might want to calibrate the above and put your health above everything...

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