I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
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I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
1–10 of 30 posts
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#2You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be happy and fulfilled but I still don’t understand for myself any of their points. Shrugs
Edit: Also, you can have a business and travel the world and still raise a child, as people have done since beginning of history, its not either or I feel like. It would even make it more fun some might say.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#3[deleted]
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#4She’ll miss out on entire new level of spiritual awareness, social maturity, graciousness and generocity, and ultimately miss out on a range of emotions we need to be fulfilled.
An empty, selfish life.
The financial arguments and overpopulation arguments are strawman arguments. Having a single child isnt contributing to those problems, but still offers emotional growth. Leaving a sole child with no sibblings is selfish.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#5You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
On the other side of the coin, there's a subset of parents that regret having children. Check /r/regretfulparents
I think we don't hear much about the people that hated having children because is not culturally accepted in society to expose that view.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#6You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
It's also true having kids is a major lifeshift that may not turn out how you hoped and you'll end up with plenty of emptiness inside you.
People report they gained from having to 'move up a level', without kids you are someone's son or daughter and that's it. Having kid(s) you become someone's father or mother as well which changes you hopefully for the better.
Someone has to pop the next generation out. They will look much like whoever did that. They won't look or think like the ones who decided to sit it out.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#7You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
Most of the people I've seen that do have children are extremely miserable for the first couple thousand days and then moderately miserable for the next decade.
So what, probably our sample is not representative.
My pet peeve is when parents tell me (or other people who can't actually have children), that "you'll never know until you haven't experienced it". I grew to think this is the most toxic behavior, triggering FOMO, overstepping boundaries and so on.
Now that I saw these failed parenthoods, I understand that this toxicity comes from their own misery, to justify their life choices. Well, they'll never know how it is to explore the world and be happy and content on your own in your thirties-forties until they'll experi... Oh wait, they won't.
And don't even get me started with the "at least you have a choice to adopt" line, which, since it's not YOUR BLOOD, doesn't count. All those looks on their faces... Sigh.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#8You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
Try not to generalise. I know plenty of people who dont have kids. We are older, we know how this pans out. If you dont have kids bc all you want to do is party and be trivial then thats ok but might not be the best reason. But if youve never seen yourself as a parent and youre kind of not really part of that usually more conventional type of life then it's probably totally logical. I know several couples who are ex musos and have lived together for decades but chose not to have children. They are as happy as anyone else. So am I.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#9You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
On the other side of the coin, there's a subset of parents that regret having children. Check /r/regretfulparents I think we don't hear much about the people that hated having children because is not culturally accepted in society to expose that view.
Yeah it’s important to be ready to have a child, be financially and mentally stable. Also you can argue they hate having children, but if they didn’t, they would be more unhappy. Raising a child is very hard work and time consuming so ofc a lot will hate having them, but I wonder if you ask them 10,15 years from now, what would they say? Most parents I saw that had an unexpected child after many years are very happy about having them.
Re: I'm Not Having Kids (and That's Okay)
#10You can do whatever you want and I can criticize you for it. Most of people who I’ve seen that don’t have children, when they get old have an emptiness inside them and not much to look for. When they’re younger they think they’re gonna be okay, but we usually don’t know if we feel the same way a few minutes from now, how can you say no I won’t feel that way 30-40 years from now? I hope the writer of this article be h…
Try not to generalise. I know plenty of people who dont have kids. We are older, we know how this pans out. If you dont have kids bc all you want to do is party and be trivial then thats ok but might not be the best reason. But if youve never seen yourself as a parent and youre kind of not really part of that usually more conventional type of life then it's probably totally logical. I know several couples who are ex…
I’m very glad its working out for you :) Although I wonder if you and your friends are in the minority or the majority.