Ask HN: Coming out of a long bout of depression, need some life advice.

It's great to hear that you've gotten better and want to pursue programming. A vital piece of advice I'd like to share is to Live Curious. Never stop learning. Keep trying new things. Connect with as many people as you can. Learn to cook. Get a bike. Visit random places. But most importantly, don't forget to have fun and make friends.

> I've been going through a very long period of anxiety and depression... I can’t help but feel guilty.

Life is arduous. It can really get lonesome pretty quickly. But take my word for it, you have no reason to feel guilty. The time you think was "wasted" was actually spent morphing you into a better human being. Be proud of the fact that you were able to get over your depression. We are all here for you.

On a different note, I'd love to help you learn programming. Shoot me an email if you feel inclined to.

singh@diwank.name

You could also look around for people looking for freelancers here: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3783658

It gets better. I know that may sound trite, but having been there and done that my life is much, much better than it was. In fact, I love my life.

Some things to know:

First, it's not your fault. Learn from the past and move on.

Know a good psychiatrist, someone who listens to you and can help you find the right drugs. There's no magic bullet and and you may have to try a few things to find what works best for you. I made a point of researching depression and brain chemistry, at least enough to get a sense of what was working for me and (possibly) why, and was able to bring suggestions for newer drugs for treatment to my doctor.

If you're on meds, the drugs that work may not always work, so be mindful that you may need to switch meds.

You may not have to take meds forever. But even if you do it's no worse than a diabetic needing insulin shots.

Some people like to stigmatize the mentally ill. They can go fuck themselves.

I pissed away a lot of time (long story) and would love to get it back, but that's not going to happen, so the next best thing is to make the most of what time is left.

While it sucks to have depression, we're the lucky ones; not everyone makes it. Be grateful, and make the most of what you have.

If you, or any other HN'er, wants to contact me about depression, my info is in my profile. It can help to talk to people, but it's hard for people to understand if they've not been through it themselves.

I recommend meditation. You can either find a group in your area (which is also great for making friends) or read books by Pema Chodron or others.

Meditation is, in my experience, a great way to deal with guilt. (And I say this having dealt with guilt a lot.) You don't try to fight the guilt, or deny anything. You just experience it briefly if it comes, and then return your focus to your breathing.

> If you're on meds, the drugs that work may not always work, so be mindful that you may need to switch meds.

Much like you did, I researched the hell out of this. And after a lot of reading I determined it would be best to take meds in combination with talk therapy (CBT in my case). Happily, this worked, and I'm no longer on anything other than the occasional Xanax.

> so the next best thing is to make the most of what time is left.

That is very true, and I forget about this fact when thinking about all that time that's been, as you say, pissed away.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful reply.

I'm in the early stages of starting mindfulness meditation. Would you recommend one form of meditation over another for dealing with guilt?