As the title says, I[31] lost my dad. I have a sister, mum and mum’s mum. Dad[57] earned good money and supported them. We think he had a stroke or something with the heart. The investigation is still ongoing.
I understand alot has fallen on my shoulders. Maybe not to full extent but some. My sister[16] needs to be educated and before I thought she wanted to go to medical school and I already imagined this to be hard but possible to support her through it. Today I found she wants to be a singer superstar. I really hope this is a phase and don’t know how to talk to her about it. I do not want to discourage her but I also want her to have a good life. I said music is a great hobby. So I kept it at that. But honestly I felt really upset and angry. I have never even heard her sing. She has been attending private tutors for singing and piano for some while. Said she will participate in some contests in the next two years.
My mother earns minimum wage, I hope she gets to have some of father’s earned pension when the time comes. The help from government pratically doesn’t exist. I said I will support her with money. She is being pessimistic but with my support they can be ok. I had other dreams but ok some things require sacrifice. Thankfully dad bought a nice, smaller apartment because it was too big for three of them and the utilities were very high. He got a mortgage for the new apartment and the bank now owns the old one.
Mother should get compensation enough to cover the mortgage if not I will pay up. And then the old appartment could be rented out or sold.
My dad worked in offshore so he would regularly be away. When he would be away me and mum would sometimes get into arguments I don’t even remember about what. When dad was home, we would have great relationship.
My gran, well, she is older so I think she can support me psychologically while I support the other two. First thing she said was that I have to become worthy of my father. My dad loved us very much and never abandoned.
I work away from them in a similar but psychologically harder job than my dad with much less pay and decided to stay working because I have been working here only for two weeks and I need the money. I come back in two months. I don’t know if I did the right thing but my gran says I did. Otherwise after a month I would need to look for another job.(Dad didn’t want a funeral/be burried I remember from childhood and mum also knows this, they agreed to have a farewell party when I come back). I hope I will manage to stay sane.
My dad paid my sister for reading books, she has a newer iPhone than me. I bought mine used. I hope she grows up normal and this financial hit and loss of father won’t sabbotage her, get into alcohol or drugs or promiscuity.
My mum has two rescued dogs that are also female and they live a better life than some people.
I am not married and no kids. Life goes on. Today I already felt this being too much for me. As in they will drive me crazy. I want them good. I cry everyday a bit but after the biggest cry the tears don’t come so much. I dread that they will come when life gets really hard. I sometimes feel anger towards dad for dying. I want it to be alright.
TL:DR Dad died, I[31M] have to support three women - mum, sister and grandmother. How do I keep it together being the only man surrounded with women?