Ask HN: About to have a child, completely burnt out at my job, what do I do?

Hello HN, I just learned that we are going to have a baby, but I'm just so burnt out at my job. I can barely afford my health insurance, and now we are looking at adding a dependent, there's just no way. I've been here since 2012, and I've never felt like I wasn't just about to be fired.

And this baby is going to be here, like, imminently. It's always been my dream to be a dad, and now I realize how laughably unprepared I am to be bringing somebody into this world. I can barely do my job, and now, it's so, so serious. I can't quit my job, I can't take time to look for another job, I can't _do_ my job.

When it was just "me" in the world, I could afford to be cavalier and take chances, but now I feel completely dependent on a group of people that demonstrably DNGASFF about me.

I'm not a fast talker, my resume looks like shit, the only thing I know how to do is program, and we're about to have a baby. What do I do?

Relax, you will be fine. Everyone is scared before they have kids and then it all works out, there are a couple of billion kids on this world, how hard can it be.

I'd be willing to bet your resume looks better than you think, but maybe you can put that out there and get some advice. Do you have a safety fund that would let you walk away from a job for a little while?

If you've been there for 10y and felt like you were always about to be fired, odds are they're not going to fire you as you're about to have a child. If their intent had been to fire you, they'd already have. The fact that they didn't shows that either you're paranoid or they've got a conscience. If they kept you due to their conscience, they're not going to fire you as an expecting new dad.

In any case perhaps do try to get another job. You've got more time now than you'll have for the coming two years. Pay it now or suffer later.

You need parental leave. Not only for your mental health, but so you can support mama and baby. You should not be thinking about work AT ALL for the first 90 days of baby's life.

Do whatever you can to get as much parental leave as you possibly can. Be there for baby and mama, and then -- only then, after baby is a few months old and your partner has healed a bit -- should you start worrying about your job and finances.

Thinking about caring for your new infant and partner's perinatal health are enough work already, and are far more important right now than your job anxieties.

The only solution for you right now is to understand your priorities. At the moment, the only thing that really and truly matters is your wife/partner's health and your baby. Focus on those for the first month.

After that, focus on the job.