Why your new programming language won't work

#1

Post by mcmillen » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 7:32 PM UTC

Why your new programming language won't work
colinm.org

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#2

Post by orenmazor » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 8:41 PM UTC

I enjoy this final check item:

"[ ] Programming in this language is an adequate punishment for inventing it."

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#3

Post by pnathan » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:15 PM UTC

That's pretty win. I nearly laughed tea through my nose.

In particular, this was win:

    [ ] You have reinvented Lisp but worse
    [ ] You have reinvented Javascript but worse
    [ ] You have reinvented Java but worse
    [ ] You have reinvented C++ but worse
    [ ] You have reinvented PHP but worse
    [ ] You have reinvented PHP better, but that's still no justification
    [ ] You have reinvented Brainf*** but non-ironically

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#4

Post by jeffreymcmanus » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:19 PM UTC

"You have reinvented Brainfuck but non-ironically" is classic.

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#5

Post by apl » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:22 PM UTC

pnathan wrote: post #3

That's pretty win. I nearly laughed tea through my nose. In particular, this was win: [ ] You have reinvented Lisp but worse [ ] You have reinvented Javascript but worse [ ] You have reinvented Java but worse [ ] You have reinvented C++ but worse [ ] You have reinvented PHP but worse [ ] You have reinvented PHP better, but that's still no justification [ ] You have reinvented Brainf*** but non-ironically

The expression "[...] is win" is decidedly not win.

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#6

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:25 PM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#7

Post by alttag » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:27 PM UTC

Most excellent. Timely too, given the recent HN links on Dart, PHP.reboot, etc.

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#8

Post by nprincigalli » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:35 PM UTC

They should add this one too:

  [ ] the language name sounds too much like 
      clojure, closure, clozure, clojurescript or clojureclr

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#9

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:36 PM UTC

apl wrote: post #5

pnathan wrote: post #3

That's pretty win. I nearly laughed tea through my nose. In particular, this was win: [ ] You have reinvented Lisp but worse [ ] You have reinvented Javascript but worse [ ] You have reinvented Java but worse [ ] You have reinvented C++ but worse [ ] You have reinvented PHP but worse [ ] You have reinvented PHP better, but that's still no justification [ ] You have reinvented Brainf*** but non-ironically

The expression "[...] is win" is decidedly not win.

[deleted]

Re: Why your new programming language won't work

#10

Post by drblast » Tue, Oct 11, 2011, 9:40 PM UTC

About ten years ago, a similar checklist was the default response to proposed solutions to spam problems.

And then someone wrote a proposal that checked many of the boxes on that list, but had the odd feature of actually working quite well.

I think that guy quit went on to start a news web site. I guess he was discouraged by the checklist.