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Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

theatlantic.com

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Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#2
Responding to the title: they get their dopamine and serotonin from smartphones x sex has become more risky (than it already was, heh -- STDs and pregnancy / child support) especially reputationally risky with revenge porn and fake rape accusations amplified by social media x 'woke' conflict around consent x pandemic?

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#4
Lack of eye contact. That's what I see among both sexes under the age of 30. Almost to the level of autism. An inability to have basic conversation. And the boys are totally ineffectual and terrified of trying to kiss a girl; it's been made faux pas to show any inclination. It's hard enough as a teenager to get up the courage to kiss a girl. Imagine if you think there's a 50/50 chance she'll completely destroy your life on social media, rather than just say "no thanks".

In my mid-30s I ran through a spate of recent divorcees who all had almost exactly the same complaint. Their husband of 10 years hadn't slept with them in 5+ years, and was always in the basement playing video games or watching porn. Which he didn't want to watch with her. Two of them - totally separately - told me they would dress up in lingere and go to the basement and the husband would say he was too tired. A third said she felt "unfuckable" and started crying recounting it. (I said, oh no! You're totally fuckable! I also said, I would never play a video game rather than lay in bed with you. And it was like... holy shit) This is literally what's going on.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#9
From my perspective and direct experience, it’s widespread porn use, which has extremely detrimental effects on your dopamine system, which leads to something you might term ‘lack of charisma, confidence and vital energy’, which leads to less people having sex due to confidence/charisma issues and lack of any drive.

By my experience and observation, porn is really bad for oneself, and it’s really addicting. I’m a millennial male, and at some point, all four of us in my friend group realized and mentioned we are addicted to porn.

I still have addiction issues, but I’ve managed to reduce my use on average to once every 2-4 weeks from 4-5+ times a week, and the benefits to my entire life and being have been immense immense immense.

Re: Why are young people having so little sex? (2018)

#10

Maybe sex isn't that great compared to new activities from a reward center perspective. Maybe the prevalence of circumcision in the US could explain why sex is less enticing than these other new activities.

Sex is the peak of human connectivity and intimacy. It is literally the reason you are here today.

If you aren't good at sex or have bad sex, practice. That includes becoming physically fit to increase your stamina and strength during sex with your partner.

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