Ask HN: When to give up on dreams?

I made a similar thread a week ago but realize that it was far too long and unrelatable. To keep things short, I’m currently a very difficult 5-year math & CS program in a small European country. My main goal with attending this program was to get into machine learning-research as I feel I have the interest, aptitude and the field still having massive potential. Unfortunately, the workload is very high, and I’ve lost much of my interest for pure mathematics which the first three years mostly consist of. This makes the 60h/week required to maintain a decent GPA much more difficult. In addition to this, the program is basically unknown internationally despite being very competitive, so I feel like my chances of landing a PhD position at a good US school is quite low even if I feel like I have the talent.

On the flip side I can switch to a top medical school here (top 10 worldwide). I find medicine to be as interesting as mathematics while the workload being significantly lower. Getting a PhD position seems way easier too as it’s way more well known internationally. Simultaneously I can work as a physician or a software engineer if all else fails. By choosing this path though, I’d be giving up on my dreams in machine learning and not living up to my potential.

This is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone say that medicine had a light workload, especially compared with other academics. Every person I’ve ever known who went into medicine was extraordinarily overworked for many many many years.

You can give up on a dream when you have a clearer one.

Ask yourself if your dream is actually to have any PhD or a PhD in machine learning.

Sometime we confuse the goal with the means. If you don't like what you are doing, quit ! The sooner the better. When you like what you are doing, it doesn't matter how hard it get, you enjoy it.

If your goal is to have a PhD position in Machine Learning and you feel like your chances aren't good where you are, try to think about creative way improve your chances (competitions, side project, etc...). Don't just give up if it is really what you want.

But if you goal is just to land a PhD position, then move to improve your chances !

> Dude, there’s something wrong either with your schools, or with your perception of reality.

Talk to some doctors. Ask what their workload is like.

It turns out that software engineers are worked way, way harder.

Just make sure you're not swapping out one slog for another. Is it that you lost interest in the material, or that it's the amount of work required to pursue it? I doubt that you're going to find medicine less mentally (and physically) demanding.

I started a PhD and found that I just didn't love it enough. I think one's innate curiosity and drive regarding the investigation the subject matter needs to outweigh the undesirable aspects of the pursuit. I saw other people absolutely driven by their work, and they basically sailed through. The others who found it more of a chore often completed the program but then left the field.

It sounds like you and your program are not aligned.

The way you frame it, it almost seems like a no-brainer to switch. Perhaps that kind of work is just something you're more comfortable with. You can try these deep, introspective thought experiments, but I know it's hard to really know without actually doing it. The grass is always greener on the other side. Sometime it actually is.