Ask HN: Answering interview with major social anxiety, how can I do better?

Hi

My English is not great, so please bare with me.

I have been suffering from major social anxiety and depression from my teenage years. College was difficult time but I made it through with friends who always supported me. Now I am working as tech lead at very small company (people who saw my previous work) for very little salary and general consensus from people I have worked with is that I am good developer. But the anxiety is getting better off me.

I am trying to land job at well established remote companies for last few months, answered few interviews but always failed to impress the interviewer. I even shortens my introduction saying "I am a backend developer" for reason I do not know. Truth is coding just one part of my job and I basically handle everything related to tech in the company and handle multiple projects. Codeparing becomes another nightmare where I cannot even think properly and solve simple problems.

2 days ago I answered technical interview from like my dream company, that would have changed my life but instead we ended up just having some discussion, didn't even manage to fix one spec. Actually I know I can fix all of those in like 15 min.

Its making me question my whole career as developer now. Does anyone here been through similar situation ? Any suggestion?

Hi, I have no idea from the psychological point of view, but maybe (a) to practice interviews would help? I don't mind helping with remote simulations. (b) consider saying you are very stressful at the start of the interview so they will take it into account (c) if the interview doesn't go well maybe say you find interviews stressful and ask for an home exam, you can also ask before the interview. (d) maybe have a friend in the room with you during the interview (depending on the camera position they may not see him/her) (e) consider saying in advance you have anxiety, need to consider if telling this will indeed increase the chance of landing the job. (f) consider taking research jobs, and generally jobs where communication isn't constant and job pace is slower, also companies with few people may be good if you don't need to interact with clients etc. (g) does shutting down the camera helps? Maybe tell you have a camera issue or ask if it's possible to do the interview without a camera. (h) usually the more interviews you do, the more experience you get at doing interviews and success chances are higher, I think that applies to anyone, so it's ok to fail interviews, as long as you keep trying you'll probably succeed, as long as you remember failing is a way to improve for the next time, and don't take it as something that says anything negative about your skills or you, I've found interviews to be a subject on its own, one that often needs dedicated practicing.

I'm not the op, but I personally want to thank you for the considerate response

Hard to extrapolate from just what you've said here, but:

- This level of anxiety, especially if you experience it in other settings, doesn't sound normal and you might well benefit from some combination of medication and seeing a therapist. Many, many people experience this - it's nothing to be ashamed of and these things can help.

- As others have said, most everyone finds interviewing stressful! That's totally normal. It's also (especially for an introvert) a learned skill that will get better with practice. Don't sweat it too much if your dream company turned you down. Most places will let you re-interview after a certain amount of time, so don't consider it a forever dead end.

Beyond the technical aspect, the thing that has helped me the most to not be as anxious before interviews is preparation. Read the job description a few times, and even if you don't have experience with all of the requirements listed (I mean who does) at least familiarize yourself with the technologies so you can talk about them a bit. Check out the company's website so you know what/how they do and why.

Also, this list[0] of common interview questions is a great help. If you have already figured out and practiced your answers to most of these then the interviewer will have less of a chance to catch you off guard with them.

Lastly, write and practice an "elevator pitch"[1] that way "tell me about yourself" or questions like it won't catch you off guard either.

Best of luck getting the job you want! Job hunting and interviewing is very difficult for anyone who is new to it, regardless of their technical skills. I definitely agree with blingojames that interviewing is kind of a subject all its own.

[0] https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/common-interview-questions/

[1] https://www.thebalancecareers.com/elevator-speech-examples-a...