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“Put on the Diamonds”: Notes on Humiliation

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Re: “Put on the Diamonds”: Notes on Humiliation

#5
post #3

Anyone else disappointed not to hear more about the Sheila interaction?

Interesting you said that - i read the first part, scanned the rest looking for continuation of the story and then searched for 'Sheila'. Really wonder what happened next - was there a reconciliation, did the hurt run too deep, did Sheila even remember or did she think they just drifted apart?

Re: “Put on the Diamonds”: Notes on Humiliation

#7
It's so much easier to value yourself when someone else genuinely shows that they value you too.

Make sure the people you love know that you value them. Make it a habit to greet them at the door when they come home, and to always tell them sweet dreams when you go to sleep.

These affirmations build up an ablative layer that protects against life's daily indignities, I think.

Re: “Put on the Diamonds”: Notes on Humiliation

#9
Does a humiliated person bear any responsibility for their feeling? I ask because while I sympathize with her examples, I can also think of many unsympathetic examples of humiliations, and the person's response to it, and I'd wonder whether humiliations are the result of power shifts. Many people I know are sympathetic to violent responses to humiliation, and even in the article, the interviews with convicted muderers showed their decision to kill someone was often over a related issue of respect.

Being witty or funny gives you the power to shame, and often it's unintentional, to where we might consider the target of a well aimed observation to be fragile for being offended. And yet, we wouldn't blame someone or hold them morally culpable in a disadvantaged relationship for turning the tables, even with a pair of scissors in the back. I don't have answers, but I'd wonder if there is a more general idea of where the responsibility for humiliations and their consequences lie.

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