I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

That was quite nice. The writer seems to be in relative peace about the whole situation, or at least as peaceful as one can be knowing that the end is near.

Unrelated but related: How do we keep stories like this in the "middle" of our minds? I've noticed with myself--and many others--that we read articles and essays like this, contemplate them for a moment or two, think about how we should be more {appreciate, grateful, thankful} for what we have, but then--inevitably--somebody cuts you off in traffic, or the plumber is late, or your coworker does something annoying, and just like that, everything comes flooding in.

Is this just human nature (or my own nature)? While reading this essay, I became much less frustrated about a delayed shipment I'm waiting for, and thought to myself, "ah what the hell! It's just a small package! Life is too short to get worked up about things like this." But I know that tomorrow morning I won't feel that way.

Anyways, I'm rambling. It would be helpful to somehow keep these things somewhere in our minds for longer periods of time--not the forefront because we need to get on with things, but probably not the dark recesses either, where we'll inevitably forget them until we come across another one in a few months.

Re: I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

#6

Post by djohnston » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 11:18 PM UTC

"EDITING THE FINAL DETAILS of one’s life is like editing a story for the final time. It’s the last shot an editor has at making corrections, the last rewrite before the roll of the presses. It’s more painful than I anticipated to throw away files and paperwork that seemed critical to my survival just two weeks ago, and today, are all trash. Like the manual for the TV that broke down four years ago, and notebooks for stories that will never be written, and from former girlfriends, letters whose value will plummet the day I die. Filling wastebasket after wastebasket is a regrettable reminder that I have squandered much of my life on trivia."

Hits pretty hard.

Re: I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

#7

Post by haswell » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 11:20 PM UTC

BigHatLogan wrote: post #5

That was quite nice. The writer seems to be in relative peace about the whole situation, or at least as peaceful as one can be knowing that the end is near. Unrelated but related: How do we keep stories like this in the "middle" of our minds? I've noticed with myself--and many others--that we read articles and essays like this, contemplate them for a moment or two, think about how we should be more {appreciate, grate…

I don’t think it comes naturally to most, at least not at first.

Practicing mindfulness and instituting a habit of expressing/feeling gratitude are two intentional things that can help maintain perspective.

But to your point, if you don’t practice this intentionally, I think it will always fade.

Re: I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

#8

Post by basisword » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 11:22 PM UTC

BigHatLogan wrote: post #5

That was quite nice. The writer seems to be in relative peace about the whole situation, or at least as peaceful as one can be knowing that the end is near. Unrelated but related: How do we keep stories like this in the "middle" of our minds? I've noticed with myself--and many others--that we read articles and essays like this, contemplate them for a moment or two, think about how we should be more {appreciate, grate…

I recently downloaded an iOS app called WeCroak. It sends me 5 reminders per day that I’m going to die and if I choose to open one of those notifications it has an interesting quote on life/death. I’ve found myself several times on social media when the notification comes in and I immediately close it and get back to do something better. So far the I’m really enjoying the reminders and finding them useful for bringing me back to the moment.

Re: I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

#9

Post by BigHatLogan » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 11:24 PM UTC

basisword wrote: post #8

BigHatLogan wrote: post #5

That was quite nice. The writer seems to be in relative peace about the whole situation, or at least as peaceful as one can be knowing that the end is near. Unrelated but related: How do we keep stories like this in the "middle" of our minds? I've noticed with myself--and many others--that we read articles and essays like this, contemplate them for a moment or two, think about how we should be more {appreciate, grate…

I recently downloaded an iOS app called WeCroak. It sends me 5 reminders per day that I’m going to die and if I choose to open one of those notifications it has an interesting quote on life/death. I’ve found myself several times on social media when the notification comes in and I immediately close it and get back to do something better. So far the I’m really enjoying the reminders and finding them useful for bringin…

I like this idea. Five seems like a lot, but I like the general gist of it. One of my friends keeps a web page open called "Mori Clock" or something along those lines. You input your birthday and it shows you how many weeks, on average, you have left remaining. I'm not sure how useful it's been for his day-to-day experience, but it's an interesting idea, like yours.

Re: I just learned I only have months to live. This is what I want to say

#10

Post by BigHatLogan » Wed, Jul 21, 2021, 11:26 PM UTC

haswell wrote: post #7

BigHatLogan wrote: post #5

That was quite nice. The writer seems to be in relative peace about the whole situation, or at least as peaceful as one can be knowing that the end is near. Unrelated but related: How do we keep stories like this in the "middle" of our minds? I've noticed with myself--and many others--that we read articles and essays like this, contemplate them for a moment or two, think about how we should be more {appreciate, grate…

I don’t think it comes naturally to most, at least not at first. Practicing mindfulness and instituting a habit of expressing/feeling gratitude are two intentional things that can help maintain perspective. But to your point, if you don’t practice this intentionally, I think it will always fade.

Well said, especially the part about being intentional. I try to maintain perspective now and then, but I find that it goes away pretty quickly at the first sign of something frustrating. I guess that means I have to practice it a little more.