What nobody says about startup moms
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What nobody says about startup moms
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Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#2The focus on "start-ups" here, while not exclusively, does sway far toward the VC-model, of course because that's also YC's model.
Is that model nearly incompatible with parenting? It might be. But that doesn't mean that there aren't parallel eco-systems of "start-ups" for those with various lifestyles (I know, lifestyle b**** is a dirty word here.).
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#3What is unacceptable to me is why this question is never asked of Fathers. I don’t think anyone would blink at hearing that a dad only sees his kids on weekends, but is it not just as harmful?
Ultimately though, I fail to understand why anyone without the proper time to devote to a child would chose to have one.
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#4What is unacceptable to me is why this question is never asked of Fathers. I don’t think anyone would blink at hearing that a dad only sees his kids on weekends, but is it not just as harmful? Ultimately though, I fail to understand why anyone without the proper time to devote to a child would chose to have one.
Unscientifically, absent mother is seen as worse than absent father.
I agree, and will may involuntarily postpone having kids because of that reason alone.
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#5There is a very cool startup in Brazil creating a startup accelerator meant only for moms. Check it out if this interests you: https://www.b2mamy.com.br/
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#6What is unacceptable to me is why this question is never asked of Fathers. I don’t think anyone would blink at hearing that a dad only sees his kids on weekends, but is it not just as harmful? Ultimately though, I fail to understand why anyone without the proper time to devote to a child would chose to have one.
Unscientifically, absent mother is seen as worse than absent father. I agree, and will may involuntarily postpone having kids because of that reason alone.
Absence of either is more or less even-equal of a problem:
Jordan Peterson and Warren Farrell on The Boy Crisis and Gender Politics - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AA1lR3CC4s
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#7What is unacceptable to me is why this question is never asked of Fathers. I don’t think anyone would blink at hearing that a dad only sees his kids on weekends, but is it not just as harmful? Ultimately though, I fail to understand why anyone without the proper time to devote to a child would chose to have one.
I’d wager that most people would agree that any dad that is seeing his children only on weekends is failing as a father. Obviously there’s some extreme exceptions but by and large I can’t imagine anyone advocating for him.
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#8The focus on "start-ups" here, while not exclusively, does sway far toward the VC-model, of course because that's also YC's model. Is that model nearly incompatible with parenting? It might be. But that doesn't mean that there aren't parallel eco-systems of "start-ups" for those with various lifestyles (I know, lifestyle b**** is a dirty word here.).
I think they are quite incompatible. Me and my wife have a 1y4m old and we mostly don't do anything else nowadays.
Other than that we have (had?) a startup that is now mostly on hold, except for some hacking that we do now and then when one of our mothers is around.
We are very lucky that we are mostly financially independent from before our son was born, otherwise I would have to go work in an office and it would be a lot harder for my wife to look after the baby.
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#9> I remember chatting with a woman at a work event one night and asking if she needed to go home soon because of her kids. She replied, “No, I see my kids on weekends.” I couldn’t help but cringe thinking about what it would be like to only see my son on weekends. It seemed horrible!
If you work 9-5 (really 8-5 most places) this is basically true anyway. Most of the time you get with them on weekdays may have some quality just for existing, but is really pretty poor. Rush around in the morning, send them off to wherever, get back home at 5:30 or later just in time to throw together or eat dinner (depending on whether your spouse stays home), then bed-time routine, or they run off and do their own thing for an hour or two (friends, bike riding because god knows they don't get enough time outside at school for e.g. basic eye health, homework, whatever) while you try to get the house in something resembling order for the next day, then bedtime routine.
Any way you slice it, weekday time-with-kids for someone with a normal job is pretty crap. If you're a super-parent you might be able to make some of it a little better or more valuable. Finding maybe an hour a couple nights a week is doable, especially if you shift all your clean-up into your "alone time" and basically live kids, cleaning, and work all your waking weekday hours (ugh, no).
If you're in the founder set and see loss of weekday time as a huge sacrifice, then I'd guess you're paying someone to handle a bunch of the bullshit in your life. At least regular cleaners and maybe you don't do much of your own cooking, and possibly you have one of those kid-chauffeur services. Ordinary working people don't spend a ton of quality time with their kids during the week. Again, seeing them at all may have some value, but you're not gonna hang out undistracted by other life-junk for any serious length of time.
Weekends? That's where the good times are. Morning and evening weekday hours are just too eaten up with trying to get by. About the best you get is a smooth routine that's at least not a negative experience for all concerned.
Re: What nobody says about startup moms
#10Man or woman...
It's egoistic to get kids and if you really can't spend the time needed with them, that's pretty egoistic too.