How people learn to become resilient (2016)
newyorker.com
How people learn to become resilient (2016)
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Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#2'Resilience', in this sense, is usually presented as a positive personal trait to be proud of.
However, (after a lot of therapy), I see it more as a simple reflection of the undue trauma I faced and was required to handle.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#3Someone smarter than I am should draw parallels from this to modern social justice movements.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#4'Resilience', in this sense, is usually presented as a positive personal trait to be proud of. However, (after a lot of therapy), I see it more as a simple reflection of the undue trauma I faced and was required to handle.
If you are saying you don't think your own resilience is anything to be proud of, I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it.
I too know the "what the fuck else am I supposed to do" feeling in response to people saying stuff like "how did you deal with something like that?" or "you're so strong" but I think it does a disservice to yourself to ignore that crumpling under the pressure was a possibility, and one that was avoided if you're still here.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#5'Resilience', in this sense, is usually presented as a positive personal trait to be proud of. However, (after a lot of therapy), I see it more as a simple reflection of the undue trauma I faced and was required to handle.
I tend to think of resilience as a psychical equivalent of the calluses on your fingers that you get from playing the guitar.
Developing them is painful, but they give you power to try and do something bigger.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#6The only prescription this article appears to make is "Positive Construal" -- thinking of potentially traumatic events as opportunities for growth, learning, and forming tighter social and community bonds seems to prevent them from becoming actually traumatizing.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#7'Resilience', in this sense, is usually presented as a positive personal trait to be proud of. However, (after a lot of therapy), I see it more as a simple reflection of the undue trauma I faced and was required to handle.
If you are saying you don't think your own resilience is anything to be proud of, I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it. I too know the "what the fuck else am I supposed to do" feeling in response to people saying stuff like "how did you deal with something like that?" or "you're so strong" but I think it does a disservice to yourself to ignore that crumpling under the pre…
> I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it.
I would have previously agreed with you, and I think that is an important viewpoint that is useful to contemplate deeply. But, I now wish to reject the point of view that I should be proud because I faced my individual trauma somehow 'better' than those other people.
Those other people shouldn't have faced that trauma either.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#8'Resilience', in this sense, is usually presented as a positive personal trait to be proud of. However, (after a lot of therapy), I see it more as a simple reflection of the undue trauma I faced and was required to handle.
I tend to think of resilience as a psychical equivalent of the calluses on your fingers that you get from playing the guitar. Developing them is painful, but they give you power to try and do something bigger.
IOW "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#9Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you are saying you don't think your own resilience is anything to be proud of, I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it. I too know the "what the fuck else am I supposed to do" feeling in response to people saying stuff like "how did you deal with something like that?" or "you're so strong" but I think it does a disservice to yourself to ignore that crumpling under the pre…
> I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it. I would have previously agreed with you, and I think that is an important viewpoint that is useful to contemplate deeply. But, I now wish to reject the point of view that I should be proud because I faced my individual trauma somehow 'better' than those other people. Those other people shouldn't have faced that trauma either.
hi, made this throwaway (or maybe one to keep?) to agree with you.
i'm not happy or pleased that my therapist calls me resilient. she uses the word as something positive but i'd rather not be "resilient" at all. the experience and effects of trauma are something i could do 1000% without. and i'm sure most people who have survived such an ordeal can attest to that fact.
Re: How people learn to become resilient (2016)
#10Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you are saying you don't think your own resilience is anything to be proud of, I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it. I too know the "what the fuck else am I supposed to do" feeling in response to people saying stuff like "how did you deal with something like that?" or "you're so strong" but I think it does a disservice to yourself to ignore that crumpling under the pre…
> I think you are failing to consider those who faced trauma and failed to handle it. I would have previously agreed with you, and I think that is an important viewpoint that is useful to contemplate deeply. But, I now wish to reject the point of view that I should be proud because I faced my individual trauma somehow 'better' than those other people. Those other people shouldn't have faced that trauma either.
Perhaps this is a difference of trauma types.
"Shouldn't" is an interesting word for e.g. getting cancer. We would all be better off if nobody had to ever face that, but... what would "they shouldn't have gotten cancer" really mean, there? That they should be bitter over being unlucky?
That would be a very different statement to make about a trauma inflicted by another human, though.