Talk Less, Listen More
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Talk Less, Listen More
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Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#2Pushing 45 now, having worked in a lot of industries, I say this is bad advice. Most people who want you to talk less and listen more are just trying to control you and in corporate landscapes, never ever assume anyone is trying to help you.
I wasted a lot of years staying silent, reminding myself that other people know more than me. Actually, all the smart, competent people were the ones being quiet in the first place, and all the people saying “talk less, listen more” like they are life coach gurus turned out to be the overconfident know-it-alls and people with duplicitous motives.
The problem is that a lot of young people are smart and have great ideas that more experienced people didn’t have. But because the young people don’t have political capital, the older people need a way to set up political gatekeeping and launder credit for sourcing the ideas from younger people.
It’s near impossible to truly tell if you’re dealing with that level of political dirtbag (usually yes) or if you’re dealing with rare good-natured people who want to give you real advice. So in the prisoner’s dilemma of it, young people have no rational choice but to defect and push for their own agendas. And they should.
When I meet young people now, I try to remind myself: they need to be heard, they need to talk. I need to listen. I shouldn’t patronize them by saying, “talk less, listen more.” I should presume they are equals, and keep my opinions private if their youthful exuberance causes them to put their foot in their mouth. They need to speak and be heard to grow, and I shouldn’t be set in my ways and miss the good ideas that occur to generations who experienced a whole different world and landscape in their formative years. Their perspective adds to mine, it doesn’t need me to correct it.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#3Pushing 45 now, having worked in a lot of industries, I say this is bad advice. Most people who want you to talk less and listen more are just trying to control you and in corporate landscapes, never ever assume anyone is trying to help you. I wasted a lot of years staying silent, reminding myself that other people know more than me. Actually, all the smart, competent people were the ones being quiet in the first pla…
> Listen to your potential new client. Let them speak. Let them feel seen and heard.
The post seems to be talking more about from a sales / client relationship development perspective.
Your reply seems to be more about internal comms on a team.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#4Sometimes, good advice. Hard to tell when, and hard to simplify deciding not to.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#5> Maybe I sounded that way in my twenties too
I'm sure I talked a lot in my twenties if it was about something I was passionate about.
In interviews- not so much, though. I was just hoping to get the job.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#6Listen before you talk. Listen at the right time, talk at the right time, and take care with your words.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#7I think it's actually cliche', and I'm sure I didn't say it first, but I sell with my ears. This may be specific to B2B markets, but my customers place a high degree of trust in my company's products. If our products fail, large customers will fire teams, small customers will go out of business.
In order to be trusted, my customers have to be confident that I understand their technical and business needs. In some cases, even personal needs as relates to their career.
I cannot build enough trust without a healthy dose of listening and answering questions. And yes, even if I don't know the answer to a question, saying I don't know, but I will get the answer by a specific date, and then doing so, is the most effective approach to building trust that I've found in 30 years.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#8Works everywhere all the time. It is common sense but people are so nervous and insecure especially in sales that they believe talking would somehow build credibility. To be more effective they have to listen with a clear intent on addressing what is going on in the speakers mind / life so they can provide an apt solution.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#9Pushing 45 now, having worked in a lot of industries, I say this is bad advice. Most people who want you to talk less and listen more are just trying to control you and in corporate landscapes, never ever assume anyone is trying to help you. I wasted a lot of years staying silent, reminding myself that other people know more than me. Actually, all the smart, competent people were the ones being quiet in the first pla…
> Listen to your potential new client. Let them speak. Let them feel seen and heard. The post seems to be talking more about from a sales / client relationship development perspective. Your reply seems to be more about internal comms on a team.
No, the author is pretty clear. They take issue with verbiage they personally hear from younger people. Here is a quote from the article:
> “ The first thing I tell them is to talk less and listen more. I don’t know if this is a generational thing or they’re just nervous to talk to me or what, but most of these conversations begin with me getting machine gunned to death with someone’s line of shit right out of the gates. Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang…bang…bang bang bang bang… I’m thinking to myself, “Oh my god, take a breath, kid.” Maybe I sounded that way in my twenties too – being excited, feeling like everyone wanted to hear every thought I had on every subject under the sun. I don’t remember. So I give them the best advice I can think of for building a practice in financial advice and developing client relationships. First of all, I says, “You don’t even know what the f* you don’t know.””
So it does not seem the author is talking about sales / client relations, at least that isn’t the primary issue they raise and the context of when they advise younger people to be quiet and listen is very different than any sales / client relations context.
Re: Talk Less, Listen More
#10[deleted]