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'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

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Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#2

Post by rafaelvasco »

There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course.

But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default.

I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you start thinking all men are mindless jerks. I've seen it. It's all about the choice of words.

If I were a woman, and a stranger sent me an email out of the blue, but was educated and chose his words well, I wouldn't care at all. In fact I would seek him out so that we get to know each other better.

If not I would simply ignore it. Of course this can be hard if you get bombarded with hundreds of messages, and emails and stuff.

But I would try not to be dismissive and view it in a negative way by default. People live in a defensive state always, and that is really harmful.

Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#3

Post by nicbou »

rafaelvasco wrote: post #2

There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course. But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default. I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you start thinking all men are mindless…

I'm not sure this is a relevant factor here.

I don't think it's about the choice of words, but the choice of context. This is a professional networking website, so focus on that.

People expose their LinkedIn profiles for a specific purpose, and that's networking. It's not an invitation for cold calls.

Hijacking a community like this poisons the well for everyone else. When it becomes prevalent enough, women put their guard up, or avoid that community altogether.

Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#4

Post by BobbyJo »

rafaelvasco wrote: post #2

There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course. But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default. I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you start thinking all men are mindless…

This is kind of ignorant of the fact that the defensive state is a reaction to harmful behavior. You're placing the burden of 'dealing with it' on the passive participant, when it belongs to the active party. If you can't stand the 'harm' of a negative reaction to picking a girl up on LinkedIn, then don't do it. They, unfortunately, don't get the option to avoid it before it happens.

Secondly, as a LinkedIn user, there is a reasonable expectation that communication in the platform will be professional. The platform's value proposition is grounded in this expectation as a sort of social contract. Sometimes people are ok with others defying said social contract, but you should assume they won't be.

Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#5

Post by birdyrooster »

rafaelvasco wrote: post #2

There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course. But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default. I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you start thinking all men are mindless…

It might be that most women are already in monogamous relationships or are uninterested in romantic relationships. Unsolicited requests for things that the receiver isn't interested in should be considered negative. Was it not implicit that by signing up for LinkedIn that they weren't there for romantic interests?

Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#7

Post by anm89 »

Some people are going to find this to be very obnoxious. Some people are going to be fine with it conditional on how it's done. If you are okay pissing off group A and suffering those consequences to find group B then go for it. If you aren't then don't. Pretty simple.

Why does every public projection of an opinion need to be accompanied by some absolutist division of all of humanity into Team Right and Team Wrong.

Re: 'LinkedIn Is Not a Dating Site' Should Users Be Trying to Find Love on LinkedIn?

#10

Post by jenkstom »

When an attractive woman that I don't know sends me a link request on LinkedIn it's kind of obvious that she's trying to sell me something. It's been everything from companionship to printer supplies to headhunting, but it's no different than any other platform. I know the article is about women being approached by men, but it happens the other way around as well.
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