Ask HN: Resources for how to be a first-time dad

Tech forum, I know. But I've seen some of the most earnest advice here. So what books or materials should an about-to-be-dad consume?

Do a search, there was a thread on this yesterday and another a couple days before that. The summary is read a book or two but be ready to adapt to your babies individual needs. Prepare to lose any semblance of hobbies or personal time, and say goodbye to a good nights sleep. Oh also your significant other and yourself will almost definitely experience a significant mental health decline within the first 6 months, so I hope you guys already have figured out how to support each other because thinking rationally and building new relationship habits with only 5 hours of sleep a night is a struggle.

Edit: It is also super cool to watch a new person discover the world. Enjoy your time with them!

Look,

The advice I say for the new parents and seems to be helpful is:

"Hang on there until 3-4 month"

What I mean.

The baby is adapting to the parents and the parents are adapting to the baby. Until you learn to take "shifts" [1] and learn how the baby communicates[2] and its sleep pattern[3] set will take some time.

[1] - At beginning both parents will be awake but then you realize that you can't be awake all the time and there is no need to both be awake and tired then you start to make some "shifts".

[2] - Is cry for change diapers? hungry? scared?

[3] - Mostly at 3rd month the baby is already sleeping 6-8h continuous then you will start to have a "full" sleep.

The important thing is: the firsts months are hard adaptation and you may fight with your spouse because of stress.

"Hang in there" it will get better.

You will be amazing father

https://fatherhood.gov/. Ideas in there to expand on.

I never found any decent resources, just lots of click-bait. These were my key takaways though:

- You will freak out about everything as a new parent (feeding, prams, weight, learning). By your second you will take everything in your stride. With good reason. Just bear it in mind.

- Dont be overly protective, it will backfire, kids will get scrapes, fall, will be constantly sick. So did you. Dont worry. Also dont worry about being a perfect parent / finding the perfect school etc. This tends top backfrire too. Just be a good dad, -put in the time, put in the effort.

- Let kids play with other kids. Kids are learning, so dont freak out when another kid is mean or whatever. Make time to play with them yourself. Encourage them but never force them to be your definition of a success.

- Kids learn FAST and they ENJOY it. Seriously. So feed them with knowledge! You can teach latin to a toddler. Kid loves mops? Show him how to make a mop at home. Loves getting dirty? Let them do do your garden. Loves the motorbike, teach em how to change the oil! Dont shy away from complex learning, build hobbies.

- Phones are crack to kids, especially youtube. Which is a shame as its also great for learning. Best to severely limit.

- Use basic psychology tricks. Eg you can limit reading to 30 mins before bed when very young so its a treat thats looked forward to. Use diversion tactics.

- Dont fall for basic psychology tricks. Dont override your spouse, present a joint front. Dont let them use embarasment as a weapon in public.

- When you first buy a car seat internalise the way to tie it to the seatbelt properly so you dont have to try and remember every time you put it back.

Kids are great fun. Enjoy