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Reflections on Being a Female Founder

tracy.posthaven.com

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Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#2
I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to live with every day and I hate it about myself (also I'm mildly autistic, which doesn't help).

I've given up on the startup thing because I lack the necessary connections to get ahead. Without funding, I can't market properly, and I can't hire sales people. It doesn't matter how great the product is, because at the end of the day it's all about sales and marketing.

There's a significant number of VCs and funds which only invest in female founders, which is a huge advantage. The bar is much lower, which is great if you're a woman. It's just like hiring programmers: 2 sets of standards, one for men and one for women. For better or worse, that's the way it is.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#3

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

Well this is straight poison. This attitude is exactly why we are missing out on so much potential engineering talent... You came so close to being self-aware enough to know that the problem is your own, but you couldn't resist putting the blame elsewhere.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#4
> On some days, I would park my car on a sleepy street in Palo Alto and pump milk with a silicone hand pump in front of someone’s nice house, reading profiles of the investors in my next meeting from my iPhone. Occasionally someone would drive up, or a jogger would run by, and I would feel completely humiliated.

I wonder how sometimes I can feel embarrassed even while doing my best, I guess that's everyone, all the time.

> I’ve heard awful stories firsthand from friends. Horrific stories like being offered a term sheet if sex was involved. Thankfully, that was not my experience. I believe I am in the minority.

In a kinda bitter cynical way, that particular horror story seems like a positive. I don't know that there's anything I could offer other than competence in a negotiation like that, aside from the occasional weird personal request like “Can you hang out with my son? I worry about him.” that I've received while conducting business.

> When I look at leadership across companies, and leadership across countries, it looks predominantly male. And that means our world is missing out on a lot of hardworking, self-identifying women who can improve it.

I think this is kinda selfish. Why do you assume that the world is “missing out” when there is so much accommodation and additional work involved? It's not like we're out here in the world buying soda, wool blankets, and toilet-grade mobile games, making special accommodations for masculinity.

Work is done for a price, and that price is negotiated. If it is expensive to work with you, the price has to move, or the offering needs to get sweeter.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#5

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

Well this is straight poison. This attitude is exactly why we are missing out on so much potential engineering talent... You came so close to being self-aware enough to know that the problem is your own, but you couldn't resist putting the blame elsewhere.

Nah, I told it exactly how it is. I know that I'm unlikable, I get that. But I still believe it's a huge advantage to be female.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#6

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

Well this is straight poison. This attitude is exactly why we are missing out on so much potential engineering talent... You came so close to being self-aware enough to know that the problem is your own, but you couldn't resist putting the blame elsewhere.

Both can be true at the same time. OP being not as good as others and the industry being gender-biased.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#7

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

It may be that this path is not for you so you've probably done the right thing. The market isn't fair and it's up to you to exploit your advantages (unfair or fair) and overcome your disadvantages (unfair or fair). If you find that infeasible, you can't play the game.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#8

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

Being a "likable person" is, for better or worse, pretty significant in sales / pitching / persuasion of any kind. If you really feel you lack this and have limited ability to improve, then a partner who fills this gap would be indispensable for your endeavors.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#9

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

It may be that this path is not for you so you've probably done the right thing. The market isn't fair and it's up to you to exploit your advantages (unfair or fair) and overcome your disadvantages (unfair or fair). If you find that infeasible, you can't play the game.

Indeed, so I guess I'll get a job or maybe just suicide because what's the point. I don't really feel like working hard so someone else can get rich off my labour anymore.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#10

I think if I were female, I'd be a more successful founder. As a white male, I found that no investors were even willing to talk to me in spite of being an early employee at some great startups including Airbnb. I applied (and interviewed) at YC multiple times and was rejected for mostly BS reasons, which I think were just a cover for "we don't like you". I get it, I'm not a likable person, it's something I have to l…

Being a "likable person" is, for better or worse, pretty significant in sales / pitching / persuasion of any kind. If you really feel you lack this and have limited ability to improve, then a partner who fills this gap would be indispensable for your endeavors.

Yep, that's why I gave up.
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