Not in the Valley? How do you find co-founders?

But, say that you don't live in the Valley. And, say that you are a relatively new Internet entrepreneur in a market like Los Angeles. You are not 20-something, so no school relationships to bank on.

How do you find co-founders for a venture?

Please don't say "move to the Valley"! :)

Examine the "typical" paths to finding a cofounder and draw some conclusions about why those things work. I would say that connections like having gone to the same college are about finding the proverbial "third space" where people can just be people and relate as human beings, which is a natural means for stumbling across deep compatibility.

If you compare this to dating, my view is that dating doesn't work terribly well because both parties are trying to convince the other party they are desirable and thus they are prone to putting on a facade, while at the same time trying to poke holes in the facade the other person is putting forth. My observation has been that the best marriages tend to come from folks who knew each other socially -- through school or work or family or friends -- before it became intimate. Find ways to put yourself in social settings where you can just be you while talking to people about business/work stuff and be open to having something click.

A metaphor I use for love, which might apply here: An open palm holds more water than a closed fist. Putting yourself in the right places and being open to what may be might pay off. Desperately grasping at straws probably won't.

Good luck with this.