Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#1

Post by wintosh » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 7:57 AM UTC

I remember being an extremely motivated and driven individual until 1-2 years ago. Then came a string of personal issues that turned my world upside down(including my realization that my father was a terrible abuser). Now that things are settled, I have a very strong urge to get up and chase my dreams again , however, I find this invisible force just not letting me do anything. I do not feel motivated at all.I wonder if anyone here has been in a similar state and how did he/she got out of it?

PS: I am a Coder

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#2

Post by CyberFonic » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 9:11 AM UTC

I don't think being a coder has anything to do with your problem. It is common across all lifestyles.

Personally I had several episodes in my life when even getting out of bed was far too much bother. Two things worked for me.

1. Getting out of the house and going for long walks. Sometimes ended up sitting on some park bench and sobbing for a while. But then a bird would chirp, a toddler would stumble by or even an insect would buzz. When you hit rock bottom, there is only one way ... UP!

2. Writing long rants in a spiral bound notebook. Pages and pages. I called it my "Bitch Journal". I would go through it from time to time and write over, scribble, etc. Amazingly it eventually gave me clarity on what was hurting the most and what I could choose to do about it. Many months later I burnt the damn book and it was a most cathartic experience.

When I feel down and unmotivated, I remind myself that it is darkest before dawn.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#3

Post by mr_t » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 9:38 AM UTC

What helps me most is to focus on the steps. This invisible force you describe is nothing that prevents you from doing anything (based on my experience, I can't know how you perceive it), but a step you want to skip, but are not able to.

You mentioned you have a strong urge to get up since everything is settled. Maybe this could be the invisible force?

You think (based on general believe how things should be done) that you need to get up since everything is fine, because that's what people do, right? Things are settled and you want to chase your dreams, thus this is what you need to do now, right? What else should you do?

You may stress yourself subconsciously which puts you in a vicious circle. If that could be the case, do something you enjoy, instead of chasing something.

But again, this is based on my experience, so I share my view, not telling you what the right thing is. I can't know.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#4

Post by blacksoil » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 1:03 PM UTC

I had struggled with such problem as well. These are how I got out:

1. Coming up with internal dreams. This is something internal that when I thought about, I'm convinced I'd like to accomplish it. Ideally this is something whose cause you truly believe in, instead of just short-term impulses. To distinguish the two is pretty easy. Impulses have short lives while dreams last long. Even when you try to forget it, at times you'd still think about your dreams.

2. Make plans. When I got motivations from step 1 above, I don't code or execute right away. Instead, I create plan and list out what's needed to accomplish it. I know this isn't the most fun thing to do, especially when you're very excited about something, but I can't thank enough the plans I made.

3. Create schedule. I force myself to spend 4 hours of productive coding every day. No matter how I feel, I have to spend at least 4 hours. Whenever I feel very unmotivated, I simply work like a robot following to the plans created earlier, regardless of my feelings. I always reminded myself that back when I was working in a company, I would do things I didn't like due to the sense of responsibility anyway, so why would I make excuses now? Interestingly, often I ended up spending more than the obligatory 4 hours because I ended up being very motivated after I forced myself to just do it.

4. Exercise, stay healthy, and keep a balanced life. This is often overlooked, but this is very important. One can't just work tirelessly like a robot. It's much more sustainable when everything is balanced. It's like once you take enough vacation, you feel like going back to work and when you actually do, you're much more productive

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#5

Post by ha470 » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 1:24 PM UTC

I’ve often found that lack of motivation is a symptom of some other problem. Often the direction you think you need to motivate yourself toward isn’t the right direction, or sometimes there is a lot of FUD that’s blocking natural motivation from shining through. We’re inherently curious and excited creatures, so if you can find a way or area where that curiosity and excitement shines and unleash it without stress/worry, it flows naturally.

Byron Katie’s work has been really helpful here for me to weed through + dismantle whatever is causing FUD that blocks motivation. http://thework.com/en

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#6

Post by koliber » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 1:27 PM UTC

blacksoil wrote: post #4

I had struggled with such problem as well. These are how I got out: 1. Coming up with internal dreams. This is something internal that when I thought about, I'm convinced I'd like to accomplish it. Ideally this is something whose cause you truly believe in, instead of just short-term impulses. To distinguish the two is pretty easy. Impulses have short lives while dreams last long. Even when you try to forget it, at t…

Great list. I would put #4 at #1. Your body is where "you" happen. If it is unhealthy, it becomes harder to do things in general.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#7

Post by swaggyBoatswain » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 2:00 PM UTC

Visionary, Discipline, Reflection, Release

VISIONARY

I don't care what random people think of me, I know what my dreams and aspirations are. I intend on getting there regardless if people support me or not. I've been told I couldn't do it many times in my life and that motivates me even further.

DISCIPLINE

Working out almost everyday forces me to be productive. Motivation is weak and short-sighted, you need discipline. Discipline in building a passion that you actually care about. This also means getting something done everyday. I keep a daily log and sum of my weekly snapshots of things I achieved that week.

I have two military-like disciplinary habits I never ever let go - this is daily journalling (mental) and workout out (physical). These two disciplines alone drive every other discipline I've reinforced, including time management, staying on track, keeping up with friends, etc. The moment I let these 2 habits go is the moment I start losing sight of what matters.

REFLECTION

You need to reflect on things you've achieved, it builds a sense of reward for the work you put in. This means sharing knowledge, sharing projects, sharing things you've done only after the fact with others. Whenever I get lost, I look back in my life and realize I've done way harder things that pushes me to move forward.

RELEASE

Write down what's holding you back. I'm impatient & stubborn, sometimes I get really annoyed at incompetent vendors and time-draining clients. I just let it all out in my daily journalling and sometimes I'll just write things on a piece of paper over and over again and then shred it to pieces.

Also, when I daily journal, I write exactly what technical challenges I face everyday. Then I write what 1-3 things I hope to achieve that day, usually its intuitive, I usually come up with it the same day.

When I get stuck I just write my thoughts down in journal form so I can analyze the situation a bit better.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#8

Post by dsfyu404ed » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 2:17 PM UTC

Getting a deposit notification from my bank every other Friday works for me.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#9

Post by time-traveler » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 2:31 PM UTC

This is what depression is like.

Re: Ask HN: How do you all deal with lack of motivation?

#10

Post by arkj » Mon, Aug 06, 2018, 2:39 PM UTC

These are tough days bro but hold on to any thread that keeps some spark going. A few things that helped me

* do only things that truly made you feel good even if you don’t find joy in it now.

* take up work that is relatively easy for you so you keep seeing some progress.

* don’t carry others burden

* lower expectations from others and yourself for sometime

* let your yes be yes and no be no

* if you are finding it hard to focus see a doc and convince him to give you some modafinil. Please promise yourself that you wont become an addict. (I pretended to have adhd and the doc prescribed me retalin, i am alergic to modafinil). This may not be good advice but it helped me not to loose my job back then. Now I have found my way to the otherside and I am grateful to that doc and that drug.

* find joy in simple things. Make sure to notice the trees around you.

* believe that you will find your inspiration again and you will.

Hope you find help.