Ask HN: How to stop worrying and start enjoying?

I am a worrier. I worry about things that I should worry about, but I also worry deeply about hypothetical situations that will probably never happen. These can be to do with work, money, personal, life, you name it. You could even call it paranoia.

I am capable of idenfting the real threats from the fake ones, the ones that are extreme worst case scenarios - but I'm very bad at controlling them and letting go of them. Sometimes they can haunt me for weeks at a time.

This is of course deeply unpleasant and massively instrusive to the extent where I don't really enjoy daily life anymore.

I was wondering if anyone here has experienced these challenges and how they worked to overcome them.

All the best

First, consider a psychiatrist for some anxiety medication. Mine put me on gabapentin, which is mild, but yours may recommend something different. That takes the edge off. It does help.

Second, find a cognitive behavioral therapist in your area! If you don't know where to start, try psychologytoday.com -- they have listings. Look for someone who does CBT specifically.

CBT really helps with your type of anxiety, because it helps you re-train your brain. It does take time, but using CBT, you can unwind these thoughts and stop them before they start.

If you're not familiar with the world of psychiatry and therapy, please note that a psychiatrist and a CBT therapist are 2 different people. Psychiatrists prescribe medication. Therapists help you work through your anxiety. Both are incredibly useful, and I recommend you utilize both.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. However, I have studied this extensively, and run a private FB group for entrepreneurs with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, so I have some incentive to "get it right", so to speak.

Basically sometimes the thing you're worrying about isn't actually the thing that is the core of your worry and this technique helps a lot with that.

For example if you're worrying about going out ask what does it really mean.. you'll come up with something like "the other person may not like me" again what does it mean "I'm a total bore" what does it mean "I'll be alone and lonely", etc. Once you get to the bottom of it then put the cognitive distortions and rational explaonations as explained.. the bottom line is when you write things down it becomes easy to see where the distortions are and fix them. But you will need to do it a lot and soon you may starts seeing results. Of course it's just my 2 cents and so ymmv.

And a quote which is a little lighthearted - Michel de Montaigne said: “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened"