Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#1

Post by starlord » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 9:58 AM UTC

Since I got out of college, I have been trying to hustle through for growth and am finally running a funded startup now as founder/CTO. But last 6-7 years have just gone by damn fast. Always loved learning new stuff, but don't have enough time to really be immersive in anything. Now when I see an interesting problem in math/physics I can hardly give it an actual shot and it makes me very very sad deep down. Developing a strong desire to go back to college if this unhappiness continues, but has that really worked for anyone here?

> PS: I tried the philosophy as per http://www.paulgraham.com/todo.html:

[x] "Don't ignore your dreams" => Doing it. Makes some part of a day to feel good... |

[?] "Don't work too much" => difficult to achieve in combo with above :( |

[?] "Say what you think" => Not easy as an introvert INTP, but learning |

[?] "Cultivate friendships" => Damn difficult to meet genuine folks after college (Would love any suggestions on where to find them... Definitely not facebook :/ ) |

[ ] "Be happy" => Nope. This is just not working...

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#2

Post by [deleted] » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 10:45 AM UTC

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#3

Post by O_H_E » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 10:52 AM UTC

Won't be able to answer, as I am just 16 :D

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#4

Post by perlgeek » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:00 AM UTC

So, I also self-identify as an intervertish nerd, and also have trouble meeting interesting people.

What worked best so far is to have some hobbies (programming, table tennis), and meet people through that.

I also meet people through other channels (parents of my kid's friends, for example), but the ratio of interesting-to-me people is much lower there.

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#5

Post by petecooper » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:02 AM UTC

I pick up litter from my local beach.

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#6

Post by mbrock » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:04 AM UTC

Meditating, reading, writing, walking, cooking, cuddling, thinking, accounting, hacking, bathing, cats, getting up early, keeping a tidy home, traveling now and then...

Happiness is quite a strange thing. Maslow-type basic needs is a big part of it. And not being stressed. Like, how often do you feel satisfied to just sit around for a while? Have a bath? Listen to some great music?

I still struggle with social life, especially living in a foreign country. As an introvert I don't get intrinsic pleasure from social interactions, but still, relationships are very rich and interesting.

Board games are a curious example of a way to interact with some (artificial) structure and purpose, where the real motivation is actually interaction itself, and playing. You get to exercise various social habits. Other social contexts are also a bit like this... You can approach them as interesting ways of playing together. Maybe there is such a thing as different preferences regarding competition vs cooperation...

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#7

Post by noemit » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:05 AM UTC

To answer original question, the things that make ME happy. Which might be pretty different from you even if we are both nerdy introverts:

- My dogs

- Laughing at my favorite youtubers' new videos

- Reading (at home, at coffee shops, at work)

- My loved ones

- Helping others

- Becoming a better person

- Writing

Response to body text:

- Things that you enjoy such as hobbies change over time, but with some effort you can always go back and do them again. Find out what you like and do it.

- College could be a great choice for you, but unfortunately there is little guarantee it could make you genuinely happy. Speak with other people who are in programs that you might want to try - really get to know them. See if they are happy or have a lifestyle you want to have.

- Is there anything you can do to get more time? Are you consulting a lot - do you need to? If all your time is taken up by your primary employment - are you delegating enough at the CTO level? Hire smart people and let them take the ropes while you guide them and give yourself a more time away from work.

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#8

Post by starlord » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:05 AM UTC

O_H_E wrote: post #3

Won't be able to answer, as I am just 16 :D

:) I will take the risk of passing an unsolicited advice: Explore all but do engage deeply in at least a few of your interests. Leads to a much more fulfilling(in hindsight) college life in midst of all the distractions you shall encounter ahead.

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#9

Post by hh3k0 » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:06 AM UTC

Do you think going back to college will truly resolve that?

I suspect it may merely delay it for a while, as you will run into the same issues after you're done with your studies.

My advice would be to consider working fewer hours, if possible, so you have more time to pursue those other interests of yours.

Re: Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

#10

Post by starlord » Sat, Jan 13, 2018, 11:07 AM UTC

petecooper wrote: post #5

I pick up litter from my local beach.

:) I like washing utensils, it's very peaceful watching the stream of water clean them away... But it's temporary. I was looking for more of a longer-term over-arching stuff.