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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#1

Post by throwaway10595 »

Hi HN,

Using a throwaway account because there's a lot to lose from speaking about how I feel.

I founded a company several years ago. Fast forward to today and we're profitable, growing steadily, debt free and are about to be acquired (there are LOIs on the table). You may ask what the problem is? Well, the problem is that I'm supremely unhappy.

Each morning for the past couple months, my first thought has been "What could today be like if I didn't work here?". I drift off into exploring what it would be like to work at Wal Mart, or the construction site outside, or as a bagger at a grocery store. It seems so stress free. Then, my phone starts ringing for the day and I'm snapped back to reality. This morning, I locked myself in the bathroom with the shower running (don't want wife to know) and cried my eyes out. I haven't cried in many years. It felt great, but only for an hour.

So, from my (possibly skewed) point of view, I have 2 options:

- Quit, which effectively kills any acquisition and likely the company as well

- Suck it up and work on the same thing for 2-5 more years

I'd been mulling over a third option (hire someone to do my day-to-day), but don't know how to make it work. The product is just too complicated (tons of domain knowledge required) for someone to come in and take over. Additionally, the product just isn't that interesting (glorified CRUD app) and it's been hard to retain developers.

Please tell me I'm missing something! Maybe I'm just being ridiculous- it's getting hard to tell. Is it common for a Founder to go through this train of thought before an acquisition? Is there a trick to convince yourself you want to keep doing this? Maybe I'm suffering from some kind of depression and need drugs.

Any advice appreciated.

- A founder in pain

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#3

Post by dudul »

May be a stupid question but: can you suck it up until the acquisition goes through, take the money, leave, and try bagging stuff at a grocery store for a few months?

Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#4

Post by mindcrime »

I mean, it's hard to truly know what somebody else is experiencing and to give advice in a situation like that. But if you're that close to an acquisition and if the acquistion stands to make a material difference in your life going forward (like, does it get you to "fu money"), then I'd lean towards "suck it up and stay long enough to cash out". OTOH, if the acquisition gets you, say, enough money for a new car, but not enough to retire, (just to use made up parameters), then maybe it makes sense to just walk away. But even then, I wonder if you'll feel a lot of regret over spending so much time building something, and then walking away right before a big milestone.

Maybe a nice, long vacation would be a good step before making any drastic decisions. Could you arrange to take 3-4 weeks off and go somewhere quiet and relax for a bit before deciding?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#5

Post by throwaway10595 »

dudul wrote: post #3

May be a stupid question but: can you suck it up until the acquisition goes through, take the money, leave, and try bagging stuff at a grocery store for a few months? Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years?

> Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years?

Yes they range from 3 to 5 years, with much of the compensation coming from future earnings.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#6

Post by throwaway10595 »

mindcrime wrote: post #4

I mean, it's hard to truly know what somebody else is experiencing and to give advice in a situation like that. But if you're that close to an acquisition and if the acquistion stands to make a material difference in your life going forward (like, does it get you to "fu money"), then I'd lean towards "suck it up and stay long enough to cash out". OTOH, if the acquisition gets you, say, enough money for a new car, but…

I'd say it's not fu money. We're talking total deal size of I do think I'd regret not following through, you're right. The question is whether that regret is worse than multiple years of hating work. I guess I'm probably the only one who can answer that.

I just took a week off and went out of town. Although everyone did manage to leave me alone while I was gone, people tried to do my job because they didn't want to keep customers waiting. That resulted in a lot of problems when I got back (they had no idea how to do my job).

I'm still paying for it now. Maybe I do just have to force another > 1 week break and deal with the consequences later.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. It is helpful.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#7

Post by bsvalley »

There is a huge misunderstanding from people in tech regarding blue collar jobs. You guys are way too naive about what it entails to work at a grocery store or on a construction site.

I've done it a few times during summer while studying CS to pay for my bills. They do shifts from 4am-12pm, or 12pm-8pm, or even night shift... They treat you like a bad kid, you get humiliated 24h/7 by who ever is higher in the "hierarchy". On top of that your body takes a hit since most of these jobs are very physical. You get back home sore, exhausted, sometimes it turns into real health issues like tendonitis, chronic lower back pain, etc. Trust me after 2 months working at a factory you'd hate your life. You'd hate yourself. Some people get stuck in this nasty world for decades...

You-I-we, the tech people, love to think there's a better world out there by lowering the level to its bare minimum. It's actually the opposite effect but you have to experience it to understand what I'm talking about. So go back to work and keep cashing out, or, go fishing on an island.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#8

Post by maxerickson »

throwaway10595 wrote: post #6
mindcrime wrote: post #4

I mean, it's hard to truly know what somebody else is experiencing and to give advice in a situation like that. But if you're that close to an acquisition and if the acquistion stands to make a material difference in your life going forward (like, does it get you to "fu money"), then I'd lean towards "suck it up and stay long enough to cash out". OTOH, if the acquisition gets you, say, enough money for a new car, but…

I'd say it's not fu money. We're talking total deal size of I do think I'd regret not following through, you're right. The question is whether that regret is worse than multiple years of hating work. I guess I'm probably the only one who can answer that. I just took a week off and went out of town. Although everyone did manage to leave me alone while I was gone, people tried to do my job because they didn't want to k…

$10 million is definitely FU money.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#9

Post by japhyr »

throwaway10595 wrote: post #6
mindcrime wrote: post #4

I mean, it's hard to truly know what somebody else is experiencing and to give advice in a situation like that. But if you're that close to an acquisition and if the acquistion stands to make a material difference in your life going forward (like, does it get you to "fu money"), then I'd lean towards "suck it up and stay long enough to cash out". OTOH, if the acquisition gets you, say, enough money for a new car, but…

I'd say it's not fu money. We're talking total deal size of I do think I'd regret not following through, you're right. The question is whether that regret is worse than multiple years of hating work. I guess I'm probably the only one who can answer that. I just took a week off and went out of town. Although everyone did manage to leave me alone while I was gone, people tried to do my job because they didn't want to k…

If you're being acquired, then somebody wants to see your work live on. But you seem to be a fairly large bus factor. If someone is spending 40mm to acquire you and your team and your product, is it possible that one of the priorities becomes hiring someone or a small team that can bring some more domain knowledge in? You're obviously critical to this operation, but no one wants a team where one person being out for a week means customers are sitting around waiting for you to get back.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#10

Post by _notme »

I feel your pain, I'm not a founder, but I also work in tech as a developer and sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a bartender or waiter. I have a friend who works as a waiter and always seems to be on vacation in some exotic part of the world. Makes me wonder how he can afford to do that and I can't?

I realised I needed to do 2 things: 1/ Figure out what you REALLY want to do. 2/ Figure out how your work life can support it. Is your work life not supporting it? Figure out what you need to change to make it get there.

For me, that meant switching jobs to something that allows remote work and unlimited vacation and organising my work day so that I can just put in 8-5 and leave work at the door.

Also, try taking an open-ended vacation. Don't make any plans, just get the time off and do what feels right.

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